I am one. I embed on unsuspecting people. I cling onto them, hover in their lives, include myself in their beezwax.
It might have started with a lovely older Canadian couple. Maybe earlier. But this I remember with clarity. We met at a concert where I’d gone to watch my friend’s performance. A friendship struck. For the rest of the year we did so much together. I was even a witness to their marriage ceremony at the AG’s, for example. We climbed Mt. Kenya together, I was constantly at their house. We went for hikes, jazz concerts, had sleepovers! I met their friends and family, they met mine. I was understandably distraught when they left.
And then came an American couple. I almost became the older daughter they never asked for. We went to church together, parties, picnics, sleepovers. These ones too left after a year…but unlike the first time, this time I knew I’d find a new couple to embed on.
That was mid 2015. I haven’t met any new embedee candidates.
But I have noticed with increasing frequency that I’ve moved from couples to individuals.
Take my bff Mimz, for instance. Soon as I see her, I have almost no interest in talking to anyone else. Isn’t that super clingy and antisocial??
It’s the same for doctors, hair-braiders, laundry ladies, anyone who I feel suddenly comfortable around, even where I buy nyanyas. I want to see just them. To be attended to by just them. To buy from just them. I have no interest in anyone else until they are no longer available, and then I begin the dreadfully painstaking task of trying to replace them.
I often hope my hovering in their lives (for the friends) and my needyness (for the service providers) is not overwhelming or suffocating, especially those offering free consultation.
But mostly I hope that they like my company as much as I like theirs and that whatever I am thinking is ‘embedding’ is all just in my head.