By Naomi Hirabayashi & Marah Lidey, Shine’s Co-Founders & Co-CEOs
When was the last time you had that foot-tapping, eye-rolling feeling of “Can this just happen already?”
At the moment we’re writing this, the WiFi is down in the Shine office, and we’re both reminded that patience isn’t exactly a virtue we’ve mastered.
We all can get impatient. (Right? Please say yes…)
We sit in stalled traffic and let out an annoyed sigh.
We tap our fingers on the counter as the delivery time of that Seamless order gets pushed back another 10 minutes.
We engage in a polite smile-stare-down with the receptionist at the doctor’s office, just in case he forgot we were here.
We live in a world where we can get pretty much anything on-demand, and in the words of Violet Beauregarde from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: We want what we want and “we want it now!”
The downside?
Impatience is a key culprit in our culture’s rising stress and anxiety.
In the moment, it can leave us feeling exhausted, out of control, and on edge. In the long run: The less patient we are, the more likely we are to experience negative emotions and depression.
So what can we do?
It’s not about becoming a Zen master overnight. Small changes in the way we spend time “waiting” can make a big impact.
Patience is really about shifting our perspective in the moment.
Two easy ways to do that: (1) notice your triggers (hello, subway delay) and (2) use the time that you’re waiting to reframe what you’re feeling.
It can be as simple as asking yourself a question like “Will this matter in a year?” — and if the answer is no, take a deep breath and let your body unwind.
Something else that can help: Changing the language you use.
We often find ourselves saying we’re just not “patient people” — but binary language like that can reinforce a narrative that might not exist.
Instead, view patience as a practice. In the words of Sarah Schnitker, an associate professor of psychology, “You want to train, not try, for patience. It’s important to do it habitually.”
So here’s your challenge for the week: Next time you find yourself wishing for the next thing to happen sooner, ask yourself: What’s something I can do with this time that will make me feel better in the long run?
Whether it’s taking a deep breath, meditating, gratitude journaling or just listening to music — swap the anxiety for something soothing and let yourself be in the moment.
You deserve to be present. Lean into the wait.
Subscribe to Shine Weekly to get a note every Sunday from Marah and Naomi. Plus: Tips on how to get calm in the face of the week’s anxiety, make progress on your goals, and find smarter ways to treat yourself better.
