Stalker #3 has sent me upwards of 800 emails in the past 3 months. This guy alternates between calling me his girlfriend, cursing at me, and attaching poorly lit dick pics. He seems to think we have a relationship. We’ve never spoken beyond me sending a single email stating “never email me again.” He’s left me around 40 voicemails. I keep blocking his number, but he calls from a new one. It’s all in Google Voice, so it doesn’t really disrupt my day. I don’t have it forwarding to my cell phone. GV has the added bonus of allowing you to download copies of voicemails. I highly recommend using a Google Voice number for any externally facing contact requirement.
In those moments, hearing thin friends talk about body image or attitude or self-esteem amplifies all that isolation. It stings, because it feels like a fundamental misunderstanding of what’s just happened. It contorts responsibility, laying blame for others’ behavior at our feet. I‘m sorry you don’t have better self-esteem is not the same as you shouldn’t be treated terribly. It’s a vicious kind of gaslighting that blames the prey for its predator’s violence.