If you’re a man reading this article, and you feel it bubble up inside of you, that feeling of “by…
Peter Gardner

If this same post was written about women, people would be taking up pitchforks, but perhaps you’re right that a negative reaction isn’t the right one.

The truth of the matter is that there is a sort of perfectionism that we all have that ruins life for us. Some of become insatiable perfectionists devouring people and their happiness along the way. Those who move from relationship to relationship all have these horror stories of the past person they dated.

All of them do. Think about that a second…

So the question becomes, when is it healthy to persevere and when is that a waste of your life? When are you making the decision that’s best for your life, and when are you a human user seeking the next high of that perfect first three months?

I guess the point is that perhaps we should be thankful about every experience with every person and recognize, via humility, our own role in the pain that creates, inflates and exacerbates their “flaws”.

When I read about a person who has gone through “one loser after another” I know I’m hearing about a person who loves the thrill of people who burn brightly, but burn nonetheless. A person who isn’t willing to accept that they chose that sweetness but wants to complain about the weight they gain.

If you want that joy, and that thrill, and that risk then you better want the whole package because that’s how REALITY works. You don’t get to have someone who is a risk-taker and safety focused. These qualities express themselves in a variety of ways and there is ALWAYS a down side.

Love people for who and what they are. Accept responsibility for your decisions and you won’t have to talk about “All those losers.” Instead you’ll remember the thrills and adventure of your life fondly and recognize you want something different now. You’ll respect those people for the pain they suffer and the light they give to life.

It’s okay to want adventure and it’s okay to want safety. It’s not okay to demand that one person give you every opposing thing in the universe.

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