I’m 30! Now what?

Overcoming a third-life crisis

The other day during Sunday dinner, a friend of mine mentioned she will soon be 33 and 1/3 years old. Based on a 100-year life expectancy — which isn’t much of a stretch in our era — she will have lived at least a third of her life.

What a pivotal moment to reflect and consider, what did I really accomplish in the first third of my life? What have I done with the years God has given me? And what do I want to do with the next third?

I had specific expectations about how I would feel on my 30th birthday, which was about blah-blubbalah years ago. I thought I would feel old, because things I experienced in the 80s — like Ronald Reagan becoming president, the Challenger accident, and the MJ Thriller debut — chronologically seem like a long time ago, but I remember them clearly. I also expected to feel a bit meh, because I had not realized some of my goals and dreams, like finishing grad school, making a six-figure salary, having 2.5 kids, running a marathon and traveling to South Africa. My ten-year high school reunion came and went. Honestly (this might shock some of my Facebook buddies), the only reason I didn’t go is because I had notlived up to my own expectations, and I was kind of ashamed of what I had not done yet. Cue the tiny violins!

But an oddly comforting thing happened on my 30th birthday. The aspects of life I thought sharply defined me started looked more like a dashed line. I carried some specific ideas about where I wanted to be and what I wanted to be doing, but between the cracks the light illuminated who I really am, what has really become important to me, and where I want to go now. A huge part of this shift has to do with being more serious about my faith. I don’t claim to have arrived by any stretch, but by taking greater strides up the mountain of intimacy and maturity in Christ, I’m learning to be more patient, less comparative, more focused and less judgmental — toward myself and others. I know I don’t have to stay in the box anyone creates for me, and I don’t have to put boundaries around myself. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there truly is liberty. I can have peace here and now and not be overly-concerned about things. I don’t have to live the next third of my life bound. The limit is beyond the sky. Be willing to stretch yourself to reach it.

What will you do in the next chapter of your life, be it the next decade, year or hour? How will you define (or redefine) the quality of your life?

ShoniShoni