Do you choose the fu*ks you give?
What is the book about?
The book is about debunking the mumbo-jumbo sold by the self-help industry that gives temporary highs but doesn’t solve the actual issues that affect us today.
Mark quickly decodes the myth that each of us is special (we are not). Infact Mark asks us to use our own intellect to question how we feel about things. What makes us happy? What makes us sad? Why do we get jealous?
As we delve deeper into our feelings we will find that these feelings are tied to core values that we may or may not have chosen consciously and when if we can choose our values we then choose the problems that those values bring and stop giving a fuck about things that don’t concern us.
How to stop worrying and giving a fuck about everything and choosing what we should give a fuck about and get on with living life versus standing in front of mirrors and reciting to ourselves our awesome our lives are is the focus of the book.
Why I read this book
I loved the title of the book so, it was a bit of intrigue of a shockingly unprentious title that made me pick it up (okay download it from Kindle). However, I found myself chuckling through the first 3 chapters of the book as Mark’s matter of fact style of writing (and the liberal use of fuck) brings down the walls of myths that I have built up being some awesome freak of nature.
The way he talks about doing our duty and to stop giving a fuck about the result resonates with what the Bhagavad Gita teaches us and he just takes it down from discourse level teaching to a real life teaching using his own tragic and hilarious instances.
His thoughts on how we talk ourselves out of relationships and the importance of boundaries in relationships was particularly eye opening.
What I learnt from this book
- Embrace the negative in your life as that is sign that you have something to learn
- Choose what you give a fuck about (and do not give a fuck about)
- Take responsibility for everything that you do but do not take the blame for what happens to you (this was huge!)
- Feeling like we are unique only places pressure on us to be unique, accept that you are mediocre or even bad at something and you will perform with no pressure or expectation therefore you do well.
- Pain & failure are a part of life as much as success & happiness
Who is the author
Mark Manson is a celebrated blogger and writes on http://www.markmanson.net . He has a unique writing style that attracts over 2 million readers and has been on numerous Primero media channels.
Who should read this book
If you have read, followed, attended, heard or seen a ton of self-help stuff and feel that it only solves something problems but doesn’t solve things at a deeper level then this is the book for you.
If you know someone who blames themselves or others a lot.. gift this to them!
(Yes, Mridul I will gift one more to myself)
Originally published at showmedamani.com on April 13, 2017.