The Roof is on Fire’d

I just got fired. Or I just got “laid off”. I’m not particularly fond of that term cause I’m not actually interested in sexualizing my unemployment. JK, but for real, let’s just call it getting fired. It’s not so bad getting fired, except I just bought a house, got married, and invested in two genuine leather purses. I mean I have plenty to keep me busy around my new, empty house. I’m catching up on all kinds of reality shows and I stole a Costco sized bag of pistachios on my way out, I’ve worked through half of it. Before you start feeling badly for me, you should know I did this to myself. No, I didn’t get fired because I was a horrible employee or did anything particularly terrible; I got fired because karma willed it (company wide lay offs in case you’re curious), just last week I said I knew a girl came from an industrial part of town because “she had poor face”. Well guess who has a “poor face” now? It’s me, because I am actually poor now.