Take a character or a trait which you hold dearly; the one that defines you as a person, the trait which makes you complete. Now, look at yourself without this trait, does it changes anything in you? Are you a different person?
If the answer is yes, the trait you hold so dearly is not you.
All the years you looked at yourself and asked the question ‘Who am I?’ And heard people say an adjective to define you. You thought this is me and continued working on this particular trait. People defined you and every day you choose to be this person by using a plethora of energy and time, just to prove this is true.
I am not writing this to tell who you are and what you should do; I just wrote it as I have seen a lot of people like my friends and family did this. They are not just one character; you are not just one character. You are more than that or maybe less than that. But, whatever it is you are not defined by others and your monkey-brain. You may ask then how are we defined?
The answer is I don’t know. All I know is being flexible and not taking opinions of other people personally can save you a lot of time and energy to be humble and happy.