Reassessment of Life

Can you imagine waking up and having your whole life flipped upside down for you? Well I can. I can remember the exact date and time, October 18, 2010 at 1:45 pm. It was my freshman year of high school and I was in art class. The Dean of Students walked into my class and grabbed me to go have a talk with her. I walked up the stairs and saw my mother and sister standing there. She had come to let me know that I no longer had a father.

My life has never been the same since that day. It was supposed to be just getting started as I began that first year of high school but instead I found myself at a complete standstill. I soon learned the hard way that life doesn’t wait for anyone. That year quickly became one of struggle as I tried to deal with all of my emotions and challenging schoolwork. My dad’s death had set me back and, sadly, I discovered that I was less motivated to do well and get involved than I had been when I first started. My persona changed and I developed an attitude that made me step back and just watch others succeed while I struggled to accept my dad’s death. I let it impact me on a daily basis as I questioned why, how, when etc.. Life as a whole started to evolve around trying to figure out the answers to these many questions. It took me about two years for it to dawn on me that I would never get the answers that I was searching for and, as much as I dwelled upon it, I still would not ever really know. But even as I came to realize this sad truth, I could never stop looking for my answers in everything I did and everyone I met.

As I tried my best to figure all of this out I slowly began to try and get back to working hard at being more motivated to succeed academically and to become more aware and self-invested in trying to get back on track with my education. I am still struggling to become the driven student that I know I still can be, even as I face this obstacle everyday. I never stop trying to remember that I have the potential. My dad wanted better for me and I always wanted, and still want, to give him that even though he is not around. “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” His words have stuck with me as well as his memory.

Fulfilling my goal of completing high school and going on to complete college will definitely be my greatest accomplishment, and I will do it in my dad’s name. However, finishing high school and college is not only for him, but for myself as well. I know, and want, to strengthen my education and I realize that it will help me for the rest of my life. We are born knowing nothing and, as time passes, we only have a little time to change that. I have learned this over the past several years as my identity has been built, and rebuilt, and it is what I will achieve at the end.