Reigniting Your Fire

Stuff happens to me a lot, and here’s how I deal with it

The feedback I’ve received from some of you often expresses gratitude for me being honest and open when writing about myself. That’s why I hide nothing and am sometimes quite candid about my own experiences. Well this week’s blog post is another candid, open, and honest account from “a day in my life”.

About three weeks ago my mindset began to take a few hits. To be frank, it was the start of an emotional battering. The details aren’t important so I’ll give you a high level view.

A friend and mentor of mine stuck the boot in about my business and my persona, more than a few times. A group of my peers fractured over the direction and execution of an important event. Stats and results from my online efforts were continuing to slide downward. My business plans and direction fell in a heap. And my finances were seriously affected. Then a dear friend of mine became seriously ill, and another very close friend I’d known for almost 30yrs passed away suddenly. My emotions and my mindset both headed south.

When emotional times come and the excrement unites with an atmospheric oscillator, you need to create a coping strategy pretty damn fast. My personal support network is tight and by crikey they care for me well. The business side however is just me. There is no team of skilled people sitting in an office somewhere. Everything you see, hear, or read is generated, published, and maintained by yours truly. It takes a fair chunk of time to do all that on top of a day job.

So three weeks after implementing my strategy, my mindset and my emotions are beginning to return to their normal productive state. I didn’t ignore them or force them deep down inside. I reacted to a set of radically changing circumstances with some well-considered responses. I learned years ago one person cannot be all things to everyone. And that’s the stuff I want to share with you. I’m hoping you’ll see a way to help others around you too.

Smell the roses, even if they’re black.

From the get-go when I received the first emotional hit, I took it on board. It came from reliable sources so I knew the criticism had merit. The shock and the pain were caused by my ego receiving a reality check. It’s hard not to take such things personally but take it anyway. Look and learn, react compassionately.

Show your feelings.

There’s plenty of info out there about the negative effects of holding on to emotion. They’re your feelings so you damn well go ahead and have ‘em. Find your outlet and vent away. It’s true to say most of us have a significant other in our lives. A partner or best friend, or someone we trust as our confidant. Call ‘em up and use ‘em up. I laughed and I cried, I felt failure and mediocrity. I had emotional outbursts of anger and frustration, and I wept a few times in the arms of my wife. I felt low and defeated on many a day, but I was never holding anything back.

Know your limits

I readily admit to demanding 125% from myself on any project or task. I’m also my harshest of critics. Because I know this, I’m also the first to remind myself I create most of my own stress and torment. So I stopped, everything. Little to no social media. No LinkedIn. No website back-end crafting and administration. No graphic content creation. No plans or campaigns. No business hustling and no high powered meetings. If my mindset was not well, no good could come from trying to push through waves of emotion. I needed to back away from my desk and take time to feel and think.

Get back in the game

If you choose to lay low and hide away from the world, the world is unlikely to notice you, and it won’t be able to show you all of its cool stuff. My time for emotional madness needed an end point. I’m not saying I set a specific day for all grieving to stop, that’d be a bit unrealistic. What I did do though was acknowledge from the outset that this state, this moment of mindset upheaval was just that, a moment. It was not the new status quo, it would change.

Three weeks later, and I’ve started making those changes. I’m back to creating. I’m rewriting plans and connecting with clients. I’ve returned to helping business and people alike to create massive positive shifts in their mindset, in their way of thinking. All because I took the time to re-examine, reflect, and recharge. Is a moment away from the coal face all you might need to re-ignite your fire? Let me know your thoughts by writing a comment below.