When Being Considerate Becomes Annoying

Realizing a fault in myself after seeing it in someone else

I think I suffer from an inferiority complex. An inferiority complex manifests itself in many ways—chiefly for me, I’ll overcompensate or always assume I’ve done wrong. I’ve been thinking this for sometime now and it’s something I think I need to overcome.

I would argue that feeling inferior is far better than feeling superior as it doesn’t manifest itself in a way that’s nearly as damaging to those around you (and eventually oneself). I’d rather be too considerate of others than not considerate enough.

I’ve had friends tell me not to worry and reassure me multiple times that something is okay but that’s about equal to telling a depressed person to, “Cheer up.” It doesn’t work.

As I said above, I’ve been conscious of my possible complex for a while, but it only recently dawned on me, just how far it extends. I was talking to someone a few weeks ago and on multiple occasions did they unnecessarily check if what they were suggesting was okay and if I wanted to back out of our plans (spoilers: I didn’t and I had a wonderful time). It’s a good idea to ask in some instances but in that situation it was unneeded and quite frankly, annoying. It was something I didn’t mention, as it isn’t hugely important but it did occur to me: I do that ALL THE TIME. I’m making a determined effort to stop the overcompensation, but it (surprisingly) isn’t easy.

Next step: Build some more self-confidence.

Disclosure: I haven’t been diagnosed by a medical profession with an inferiority complex however it’s something a few have suggested, something I believe I have and something my counselor agrees with.

Citation of editing: When this article was originally published it assumed I did have an inferiority complex when that may not be correct. After a friend read over the piece and pointed out the flaw (Seek Truth and Report it: #1 and Minimize Harm: #3 and #5) it was quickly corrected. The error was unintentional and my mistake. I apologize to any diagnosed sufferers or anyone who could take offense. I’ll do everything in my power to avoid it happening again.