Finding a balance

Finding a balance. That feels like one of the toughest things or goals in life for anyone to achieve.
I’m trying. No honestly, I’m really trying. But there alway seems to be something that will fall behind.
Is it even possible to ever find a balance? I know I’ve had good times. Great even. And then, there has been my fair share of low times. Increased stress. Even depression.
I know the things that help improve the journey for a more levelled, consist experience of life. And I’m very aware of the things which do the complete opposite of that.
I’m working hard to keep things so life move towards the more positive sides of life. But everything comes at some form or another of expense.
By expense I don’t mean money. Everything has a cost. Of course. But this doesn’t have to be in the form of a financial cost. It could mean time. It could mean sacrifices. Has there been many of them. Either way you’ll have to give over some value to achieve something in one way or another.
For example, my fiancée and I are currently working our little butts off. We have no choice to do this. If we want to develop businesses that run outside of our own contracting businesses.
It sounds like such an easy thing to do. But oh wow is it hard. I admire anyone who has managed to get a business up and running outside of their day jobs. It’s a monumental achievement.
Why do this? Why go to all that effort? Why suffer? Why go through the arguments and the added stress?
Well… I guess the simple answer is we both want more from life.
We love our jobs and are very thankful to be senior user experience consultants. But we want to live on our terms. Working on projects that fit with who we are. Projects that help people in a way which we feel aligned too our own unique experiences of life. Projects we would, if we could, do for free. But achieving this is a real challenge.
It’s tough not to take the next contracting job that comes your way. The market is so incredible at the moment. Businesses are crying out for talented individuals that have experience, and are willing to work under intense pressure.
So what’s the cost of doing these things alone. What happens if you want to create your own second businesses. You know, without massive outside financial investment. What affect does this have on your life? When your trying to manage clients on a 9–5 basis during the working week?
How does it impact your life when you’re having to study new things all the time. To learn new skills. To change your working processes. To continuously spend money on things that might not work. And for the most part don’t work.
Well… the one thing we’ve both noticed. And becomes ever more apparent. Is the cost and impact on our social life’s.
We’ve both had to sacrifice a lot of free time that we would have spent with friends in the past. Time we would have been at parties. Times for other peoples birthdays. Time for weddings. Time for catch ups. Time for whatever the latest engagement or social event might be.
For the last few years we’ve had no choice to attend these occasions less and less. So currently this is our biggest cost right now. It’s coming at quite an expense. Especially when it comes around to your own birthday and you realise no one wants to come. As there’s been plenty of occasions which you’ve missed yourself.
I guess it all comes down to feeling content. If you’re happy where you currently stand. You’re comfortable with what you currently have. Comforatble with what you currently do. And you’ve seen everything you’ve wanted to see and your happy to stay in the merry-go-round of endless partying. Then good for you. You enjoy that time. Life is yours to make of it what you will.
Unfortunately for my fiancée and I. We both have this crazy thirst for more. We’re happiest when we’re creating. Happiest when we achieve something, over come a huge huddle and are moving forwards.
Of course I’m not saying that other people aren’t achieving and living their dreams, while also partying and enjoying themselves. Those are the lucky ones. The people who can have it all. And do both.
The problem for me is i’m lazy. Like f*cking lazy. And for me, personally, it’s any excuse to procrastinate. It doesn’t take much for me to want to chill out. Sit in front of Netflix. To put something off for another day.
With this mentality, if you throw parties and acholol into the mix, then you get one lazy git. And that lazy git, isn’t going to get anywhere fast.
So, together we’ve had to make some tough decisions. We’ve been forces to say no. We’ve both stopped drinking (Full details on that are for another day).
But for now. We are both noticing one big friend shaped hole in our lives and neither of us are quite sure how to deal with that.
