Burdens of the Heart

There’s one struggle I have that keeps persisting. Every morning my heart is raging with so much negative feeling and my thoughts are racing. There’s so much I have to say to one person. I obviously don’t feel ready and every morning there is something new to say. One day, I should hope that I could unleash the burdens of this particular heart.

For now, there are triggers that are in my heart that cause me to feel a certain way towards this person. One moment I’m fine with them and the next I’m not. Unfortunately I don’t know how to treat them just yet. We used to be such good friends and if things could remain that way it would be better. However, it is something I can only leave it in God’s hands. It is something I must give and let Him take. It is something I must surrender.

The part I’m annoyed with is… there’s so many things that are intertwined. So many connections I make in my head that I think things are supposed to be a certain way in the future. I wish I could surrender those connections. I wish I could figure out what these connections mean.

I’m going to be fine no matter what because I know God has always come through for me. He has always taken the burdens of my heart and given me Him. I have treasured Him, but I honestly don’t know what this means. No one seems to believe me. Sometimes I feel like a person who has paranoia. It’s far from the truth because I’m definitely functioning. Anyway, this is something on my heart. I believe that God’s presence will always be present in my life and I’m sure no matter what will happen in the future I will be fine. Trust and patience is something I need right now. I also not need to lean on other people’s opinions. I need to concentrate on what is in front of me. I need to lay my burdens every morning.

In particular,

Trust in the Lord with All Your Heart — Proverbs 3

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

and do not lean on your own understanding.

6 In all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make straight your paths.