Dear guy I was too drunk to really remember anything about you for a clever title,

(7 whiskies deep).

You might have been a cool guy, but who can really say?

I think your style really turned me off. You needed a haircut, and it wasn’t whatever haircut you were rocking. You had a dumb beanie on with some sort of brim and it freaked me out. I cannot stand whatever that is you had on your head. I can’t believe you even wore a weird hat to a first date in a nice bar.

I didn’t take you to a dive bar because you seemed too good for that. You showed up dressed like you wish we were in a dive bar. I had maybe 3 drinks before you got to the bar. I was really early. I felt bad that you traveled so far to get drinks with me.

I was really bored as the night came to an end. I went to the bathroom and around the 7th drink and made a booty call. I shouldn’t have done that, and it was really rude, but ehhh.

I took the bus to an old fling’s house, and woke up regretting my actions. Things got freaky (and not with you), so that’s got to be a bummer.