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Sam Skelton
Sam Skelton

41 Followers

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Sep 24, 2017

Why I Look Like a Serial Killer on my Driver’s License

It was early in the morning on a Saturday and nobody was happy to be at the Longmont DMV. I spent two hours trying to read a book surrounded by screaming children, excessive sniffling, and the stench of decay and Clorox. Eventually, they called my number and I walked to…

Life

2 min read

Why I Look Like a Serial Killer on my Driver’s License
Why I Look Like a Serial Killer on my Driver’s License
Life

2 min read


Jul 26, 2017

Day 5: The Train to Berlin

Patrick and I arrived at the main train station to board a train to Berlin. There was hardly any explanation on how to use a Eurorail pass, so I didn’t know what to expect. …

Travel

4 min read

Travel

4 min read


Jul 21, 2017

Day 4: The Last Full Day

Day 4, we took the subway into town and wandered into an alleyway that gave me the crepes. Strawberry and Nutella crepes, to be exact — and they were incredible. Afterwards, Patrick and I attended the RIJKS museum, which had an incredible model boat room and more paintings than my…

Travel

2 min read

Day 4: The Last Full Day
Day 4: The Last Full Day
Travel

2 min read


Jul 9, 2017

Day 3: What Happens in Amsterdam should Stay in Amsterdam, but I’m Writing About it Anyway

Day 3 began with fine art and dignity. It didn’t end that way. I saw the Van Gough museum with Rachel and Patrick, which was great. Van Gough is an incredible painter, and that’s an opinion I would maintain even if he hadn’t cut his ear off to prove it…

Travel

5 min read

Day 3: What Happens in Amsterdam should Stay in Amsterdam, but I’m Writing About it Anyway
Day 3: What Happens in Amsterdam should Stay in Amsterdam, but I’m Writing About it Anyway
Travel

5 min read


Jul 6, 2017

Day 2: Insulting Private Distillers and Humoring Bouncers

Day 2, we took a bus to the city center. Central Amsterdam was a mass of beeping trolley cars, red double-decker busses, compact cars, packs of bicyclists, and hoards of tourists. The skinny store buildings slouched slightly over the street — not slanted enough to worry about immediate collapse, but…

Travel

4 min read

Day 2: Insulting Private Distillers and Humoring Bouncers
Day 2: Insulting Private Distillers and Humoring Bouncers
Travel

4 min read


Jul 3, 2017

My Misadventures in Europe: Intro + Day 1

Travel blogs of today are too romanticized. They say traveling builds perspective, expands horizons, changes lives, and other flowery language that’s more generic than the average sidewalk. They’re the blogs that feature pictures of backpackers looking over mountain vistas, people with arms stretched above their heads, silhouettes in sunsets, or…

Travel

5 min read

My Misadventures in Europe: Intro + Day 1
My Misadventures in Europe: Intro + Day 1
Travel

5 min read


Jan 22, 2017

Trump’s Twitter: A Nuanced Analysis of Today’s Tweet

Donald’s Twitter posts are strategic political narratives condensed into one hundred and forty-one characters. Every word and phrase has distinct meaning, which Donald carefully hinted at many months ago when he announced, “I’m very highly educated — I know words, I have the best words.” …

Politics

4 min read

Trump’s Twitter: A Nuanced Analysis of Today’s Tweet
Trump’s Twitter: A Nuanced Analysis of Today’s Tweet
Politics

4 min read


Oct 4, 2016

A Spirit’s Guide to Causing Terror in the 21st Century

Modern problems require modern solutions. Child Spirits: Don’t spend time trying to be scary, because most people will find that endearing and get depressed when they can’t pinch your cheek. Instead, do normal kid stuff and watch people piss themselves. Roll a ball down a flight of stairs. Stand idly…

2016

3 min read

A Spirit’s Guide to Causing Terror in the 21st Century
A Spirit’s Guide to Causing Terror in the 21st Century
2016

3 min read


Aug 30, 2016

The Laundry Quandary

After spending a sunny week in Portugal, I was out of clean laundry and desperate to find a laundry machine. After searching the two square mile radius on a map, Patrick and I found five laundromats, so we put on our sandals and embarked. We spent all afternoon walking around…

Short Story

1 min read

Short Story

1 min read


Aug 14, 2016

A Bee Sacrificed Itself so I could see Obama

It was a beautiful day in April, and Obama was set to speak Colorado University’s Norlin quadrangle (an absurd name for a rectangular field). I got in line an hour early, but it wasn’t early enough. The line spanned nearly half a mile, weaving in and out of the college…

Humor

2 min read

A Bee Sacrificed Itself so I could see Obama
A Bee Sacrificed Itself so I could see Obama
Humor

2 min read

Sam Skelton

Sam Skelton

41 Followers

When I was a child, I secretly ate dog biscuits.

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