Dear Jake Brewer, Today, I Remember You and Thank You
Wow, there’s been so much that’s happened in this short one year since you’ve physically left this earth, it’s actually hard to convey and portray all that I’d really like to share with you. There is just so much that could use your contemplative tick tick tick stern thinking and creative genius to strategize the hard problems with some silliness in this work — my life’s work — to roads of the higher skies — that you were just starting to teach me about. But I guess you’re up there already, chatting with me, so please keep those beams of focus and clarity comin’ down my way. I feel them buddy.
Where to even begin…gosh there’s so much!
Since we met on Powder Mountain in February 2015 we shared a similar withdraw and particular type of silence. Even though others receive our personalities as super A-type.
And when we met, I was engaging with that aspect of me: hopping around to everyone to engage across ev-er-y-one alike, versus just a select few, to get to know everyone’s 5Ws and then start to make sense of all of those with whom I was surrounded. Hardly revealing myself. But what I did share with everyone was my focus: “safety and security”. And when we met, it was the first of maybe 100 conversations where a piece clicked into gear and said “ok yes this person gets what I’m about”.
Back then I wasn’t nearly as deep into the realms and depths to which I’ve since penetrated in order to explore — reaching ridiculous discovery that really could alter the course of living as we’ve experienced and know it to be.
In our first, then second, and so on conversations had, it was apparent that you and I truly shared the dire need to bring attention and public awareness of the changing and hyper-connected locales and world before us and our kids.
You were already in the light of this doing incredible open source and freedom of information work. Me, I had just declared my framework in the shadows, but it was rooted with deep wants with now what I know to be a crude naïveté of the ways in which I chose to navigate my wants and form their path to accomplishment.
You and Dan Dan Fredinburg were really powerful to me in this early stage. We all were not vigilantes, we were — are — Dissidents.
It’s been really hard Jake. In not being fully aware of all that which I was not just set out to accomplish, but was actually accomplishing. My old software was running and running the buggy old programming that written so long ago and really in a language that my system had come to no longer process but there was no alert signaling me to update. So it ran anyway because the core had not been queued or guided.
After we met I finally learned for the first time in my life, at 26, what a role model could look like and be in my life. In this time too, I was learning friendships for the first time in my life. I was learning how to really collaborate for the first time in my life.
In that time of starting to have you and Dan as both friends and mentors — and to finally get to bond with people who were like me, we tragically first lost Dan that April to Mount Everest. And in slowly healing from trauma and immediacy of his departure, we too, not soon thereafter, all lost you that September.
There was no codependency in our interests and goal’s to the relationship we were forming; there was just some super profound respect and honor for another human on a big mission, and building the tools to get it heard.
Getting to see you might have been the first time I really got to look up to a person as the person that I wanted to become. Not just for the work that you did and how you got there (for the world and your country), but also for the real marriage that you and MaryKatherine shared and the incredible father you were to Georgia and your unborn new baby girl, and the hobbies you committed to.
With that silence and withdraw as mentioned before which gave you, like me, the ability to see across a wider landscape and capture the details by getting a whole and seeing deeply into the many different pixels. Your medium was photography as with many other things that your life has been em parting upon me through the huge network of love, doing and remembering left in your legacy by family, friends, colleagues, etc.
Then on this day last year, you were gone, and our chance to learn from each other, collaborate, be mentored was untimely physically taken.
In and out of this period of extreme information -intelligence gathering- as you knew I was entering in order to at first do and be something else, I became real disconnected. Real kurt, cagey, even uncommunicative to some major things that needed to have its voice and be heard. in being part of a community, actually a few, and to join a professional community, I’d never run farther from them and really from myself.
I am out of this period now, but in that time I became even broker than when we met, emotions and self became broken when it was will and strength that led me as far as I had gone to go to the lengths and risks I had chosen to take, and at times in communicating all that I was doing and wanted to do I even felt buried alive in the complexities of breaking free from living covertly and wanting to work in a covert force to assist in protecting the nation the three (you, Dan, and me) of us so greatly served in our own rights and wills.
This service actually became the triangular flow that I have collected ridiculous amounts of in person, on foot, in your face, & one to one direct data on.
Jake, it’s literally SO cool because I’ve defined my thesis and I have been refining its meaning so that there can be action behind the data, techniques, and development once covert that can be applied and taught widely so that the tools to get to a deeper knowing, that down to the pixel of a real large set that you and I dabbled in across different ways, could be delivered to the world!!! And in it’s delivery to the world, there could be a liaising of intelligence in order to pave a road to accountability to our Earthkind!!!!
The three of us represented The Consumer, The Enterprise, The Government, The Warfighter, The Scholar, The Activist, The Humanitarian, and rightfully so, The Dissident.
We, together, represented the very definition of my #TriangleofConvergence even before I wrote a line of economic theory and current status of technology and culture writhing information technologies.
We were my Triangle of Convergence before I dreamed up a large fund to expand and develop impact initiatives and research.
We were my Triangle of Convergence before I tried to facilitate all the new and upcoming tools, missions, and companies I was seeing and meeting into an accelerator and liaison funnel into the DoD.
We were my Triangle of Convergence that strived and stood behind flat and global collaboration.
We were my Triangle of Convergence that saw the role of the analyst shifting from a national or corporate responsibility to that of the action and security for the global citizen.
We were and are the Triangle of Convergence that will lead my movement of awareness and strength building for the future generations to come because it presents a new cultural paradigm within how information technologies will serve the Earthkind from which there are the real ways and means for global security and security of the next generations as a “yes you too can have this life”.
Thank you for continuing to be my mentor Jake. Thank you for giving MaryKatherine the strength to continue being the incredible woman that she is and mother to your two gorgeous little girls. Thank you for your contributions everywhere around us, and thank you for what you continue to be for us all.
Your friend and forever mentee,