The Convincing Economy

I’m going to convince you that I’m not a weak lamb ready for slaughter. You know how? Well, it’s not bravery. It’s something much more prolific. Its the human condition.

I have serious trust issues. They manifest from years of psychological abuse around learning, success, worth, accomplishment, capability all learned from my influencers.

They manifest as extreme resiliences (caring deeply by getting to know things and exercise empathy) and I’ve not let go of the ways I’ve experienced abandonment because it keeps happening. Abandonment by others is just a euphemism for self confidence and expression of that confidence as the live out by creating through my capabilities.

But, learning accomplishment a child and teen wasn’t learned. It was experienced by reaping the rewards of another is hard work. It’s not to complain and say experiences weren’t nice. It’s to say i wish that I didn’t just experience and knew the administrative work that went into building up to have those experiences. It was hard because why I was good at wasn’t the standard course of testing.

So how do we take that hard work and the success and make the influencers more influential? How do we make it about the influencers knowing the people that they are influencing?

So, if influence of the haves is the only thing one receives, it then becomes very hard to be influential to yourself. Because you don’t learn the fundamentals of the roadmap to success. You learn the equation wrong or at least with gaps. Work hard equals earn money equals successful. But if you are the influencer to the individual that needs someone who is influential to them showing them the end doesn’t help them with the process of getting there. And then if they don’t learn how to accomplish they don’t learn their value and then never able to get to those things that were the successes of hard work that they learned as a child.

It comes down to our differences not being safe. It comes down to our processes not being important to the things that we can produce for others. It comes down to having trust and security in others in the way we interact with them so that we wind up concealing the very things that make us who we are. This sounds like the worst coping mechanism to humanity in my opinion. Someone once said to me what are you willing to give up in order to get what you want and we can use this phrase in everything.

“You’re giving me your lines of code. I don’t want the algorithm. I want the Candy Crush, the Uber, the product. Get to the product. Tell me the user-base. Convince me.”

We have a convincing economy. Which I find to be so mindless and dangerous. We invest in their judgments of others instead of understanding their modalities and values.

Why am I good at what I do what I want to be doing more scalably? Insecurity is my virtue. Chaos my dogma survival my Creedence empathy my system of discovery and connection. I teach these methodologies as a coach, consultant, and Strategist and I get to practice these methodologies as an innovator and policy person. Everything stems back to ItStartsWithinMe.

Two years ago — almost to date — I made a new friend. He’s someone who is extremely influential and in the public eye. The more we got to know each other as friends and innovators, he shared with me one day that “I’m the long game”. So two years later, a lot of research and discovery, and hard work now matching all that to build something, I cashed in my friendship card and asked to meet for an advisory chat and reveal all that I’ve been up to. “You’re giving me your lines of code. I don’t want the algorithm. I want the Candy Crush, the Uber, the product. Get to the product. Tell me the user-base. Convince me.” I see his point but it also hurt. And getting to reveal what the product is I needed to share a methodology that took some time to unpack in my own experiences, formulate and I’ll be able to teach others… And hopefully build a tech product on top of it using its value system.

Where is the self and societal improvement? Why don’t the mechanisms that drive us matter and how do we change that? Softness and vulnerability are being to trend now yet we are still having problems hearing each other and empathetically connecting dots to purpose from knowing each other’s journeys.

Our past present future and dreams all matter.

As a child teen and now as an adult I’ve tried to get full pictures on the things of the people with whom I’m around. The deeper my understanding of someone or something that I had on a visceral person-to-person no power sought level with these people or things, the faster that person or thing ran away from me. Because our deepest places are those that we conceal so that we can be in the light of power we’ve come to only know. Strength and exterior. Influencer, not influential.

The greater the understanding of another or a thing that I was able to pick up on and discuss with them, the more sensitive and fragile these relationships got. We’ve learned that hardship and rebuild is from a place of weakness and then into strengths in stead of seeing these influences as places of value and ares where we can find a tremendous pool of possibility to lead based off of the conditions that we’ve already experienced and therefore have weighted into our lives.

But I started seeing that society actually doesn’t work like this, at least now. Maybe this is the hardest realization.

Having too much insights and information or genuine curiosity that’s rooted in heart can be misinterpreted by money as social climbing self interest or lack of care of another. That truly wanting to understand someone for who they are before doing anything else is wrong. That’s enough to zip someone shut in silence the voice that only wants to serve others and empower them. This is not an angry voice now this is a sad voice wanting to break free and be understood. The more that I run away from myself the less I can do which limits the causes and to be influential in assisting others in our every day lives. The more lack of confidence I have in my self and my ability to trust others because of my heart and what it takes to do the less I do and the more alone I become. I don’t become angry here. I’m filled with a sense of yearning. But this yearning is becoming to feel just like the child that was turned away from honors for gifted classes and where the hard work and learning was done individually and without exchanging that with her peers. This isn’t the voice of a winner because she doesn’t know how to win. This is the voice of a woman who is sad and locked away in her own self because she experiences the pain of how she communicates with others and how she’s just learning for the first time how she frames things and listens. She does not know the art of conversation she wants to share what she knows and idiosyncratic fashion hoping that that passion is also enjoyed by others yet doesn’t know when it’s a turned off. It’s the same little girl who wanted to speak in different languages and recite Shakespeare with everyone not just a particular group that only likes those things. This isn’t a woman that sees groups this is a woman that identifies with the soul of everyone and perhaps that’s where she’s finding big problems. She interprets sales as a way of prostituting because she doesn’t see that the end goal is the win she wants people to understand the knowledge which is wrong she needs tounderstand the endgame and do whatever it takes to get there. But that is not her nature is there a way around this?

Being raised by a narcissist — who lives now with BPD, alcoholism, and depression — inperhaps learned to trust the highest potential in everyone because looked into experiences, saw past traumas that showed up as ego and personality, and looked greatly at the human spirit and soul that we all possess.