Narnia? Again?

Yes.

I am a massive Narnia fan. Let me go for a walk down memory lane really quick. When I was four my grandparents sent me a Chronicles of Narnia box set on VHS. This included three “films” that had all aired as a mini series in the late eighties.

Very convincing.

Sure the costumes were silly, the special effects now look very dated, and the acting isn’t great, but as a little kid…I couldn’t get enough of it, man! Every time there was a snow day, I would try to watch the entire nine hour collection. When I got a little older I read all of the books, and I loved them. On weekends, I would use the library computer (I sound old) to see if they would ever make a REAL Narnia movie.

Be honest, this looks awesome

Fast forward to 2005. I’m skate boarding, listening to Underoath, and trying to write songs on my guitar. However, I lost my mind when I heard about Andrew Adamson’s The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. I still remember the movie going experience. I went to an old fashioned theater with my parents, and I didn’t even get popcorn because I just wanted to get into the theater. I really loved the movie, and a lot of other fans agreed with me! Now this filmed brought in plenty of new fans, and I must admit that I became the ultimate Narnia hipster.

Then Prince Caspian came out, and the film wasn’t as good. Sure there was fun to be had, but overall the film was a step down. Then Voyage of the Dawn Treader was released, and this was merely a kid’s film, and not a very good one.

Still, I always had a love for Narnia, I was even cast at Maugrim (his name was Fenris Ulf in the play) in a traveling stage production of The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. I did that for two summers. Memories.

This is me.

I still love the story of Narnia. What can I say? It has a special place in my heart.

So this afternoon, I was looking at some movie news and I saw that they (a bland reference to Hollywood) are rebooting the Narnia franchise. They are starting with The Silver Chair, which is the sixth book in the series. If you’re unfamiliar with the Narnian story, you should know that if they weren’t rebooting the franchise, Silver Chair would be the next film in line.

Now it hurts me to say this, but I just don’t care. I’m sorry, but I don’t. You know what I’m noticing though? No one else cares either. Honestly, I haven’t seen or heard any praise or outrage about this decision to reboot! There’s nothing really all that exciting about this news, but there is something exciting about this story you’re currently reading. I’m gonna fix it. I’m going to fix the Narnia franchise.


Step one: IF YOU’RE GONNA REBOOT THE FRANCHISE, START AT THE BEGINNING!

To me, The Magician’s Nephew would be the coolest movie! This is chapter one! This movie would have so much mystery, some fun characters, as well as some really tense moments. Also, if people liked this movie we wouldn’t need an new cast for The Silver Chair. We would have a new energy, and we could reuse that same cast that we already know.

Step two: FIND WRITERS WHO UNDERSTAND THE MATERIAL!

Listen to me. Please, listen to me. The Lord of The Rings trilogy, The Force Awakens, Spider-Man (2002), The Dark Knight trilogy. What do all of these movies have in common? Writers who have a passion for the source material! Hollywood! Throw out a net! I’m sure there’s a great screenwriter who has a love for the source material. Give the movie to them and you’ll probably be amazed. You know what else would make the film amazing…

Step three: GET A REAL DIRECTOR!

It seems like they just keep offering the franchise to unknown directors, who have never made films of this genre before. I’m all for new directors, but if you want this franchise to be great, you need a great director. Go big! Ask Peter Jackson, J.J Abrams, call Rian Johnson, Lord & Miller, Sam Mendes, Rupert Wyatt, David Yates. Just find a great director!!

Step four: KEEP LIAM NEESON!

I like his voice. He’s a good Aslan.

Last step: DON’T ADAPT “THE HORSE AND HIS BOY” INTO A FILM!

This is a good book, but as a film? I don’t see it. This really only works as a book and I fear that it would bore audiences, and disappoint the fans of the book.


So those are my Narnian ramblings. Expect a “Top Ten Steven Spielberg” list from me soon, but until that time…enjoy this video of my friends and I rapping about Narnia.

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.