What If….

What if…

What if…

An overthinker’s favorite phrase.

I start each new thought wondering what if the past had been different.

What if I could express how I feel to you.

What if I hadn’t shown you my pain.

What if there is hope for the future.

What if…

What if…

What if life didn’t have to be unfair.

What if I could stop loving you.

What if I pretend your dead.

What if this sadness never goes away.

What if I become so toxic everyone will leave me.

What if I become a Carly.

What if I can’t fight these negative thoughts back.

What if they take over.

What if they stop me from pursuing my dreams.

What if…

What if…

What if I loved myself more than you could ever be capable.

What if I am able to change the world.

What if I can prevent one girl from feeling like I do.

What if I empower so many women we can decrease the effects of toxic masculinity.

What if I stop asking what if.

What if I quit thinking and start doing.

By doing something to change the future will have made my past and present pain mean something.

I must use it to change the world. To create. I can not let him win.

I can not keep giving him power over my life.

I need to be fearless.

I set foot into a Target today. That might seem like an easy thing but it takes me months to gain courage to do it. I rarely go. There are several things I can not overcome. But what if I celebrated these small victories.

What if I challenge myself.

What if I push myself more to be positive.

I don’t want to be toxic and sad all the time.

Being happy is a choice and you have to fight for it even when you have lost faith and hope.

You must fight.

You must take action.

Rise up.