An overthinker’s favorite phrase.
I start each new thought wondering what if the past had been different.
What if I could express how I feel to you.
What if I hadn’t shown you my pain.
What if there is hope for the future.
What if life didn’t have to be unfair.
What if I could stop loving you.
What if I pretend your dead.
What if this sadness never goes away.
What if I become so toxic everyone will leave me.
What if I become a Carly.
What if I can’t fight these negative thoughts back.
What if they take over.
What if they stop me from pursuing my dreams.
What if I loved myself more than you could ever be capable.
What if I am able to change the world.
What if I can prevent one girl from feeling like I do.
What if I empower so many women we can decrease the effects of toxic masculinity.
What if I stop asking what if.
What if I quit thinking and start doing.
By doing something to change the future will have made my past and present pain mean something.
I must use it to change the world. To create. I can not let him win.
I can not keep giving him power over my life.
I need to be fearless.
I set foot into a Target today. That might seem like an easy thing but it takes me months to gain courage to do it. I rarely go. There are several things I can not overcome. But what if I celebrated these small victories.
What if I challenge myself.
What if I push myself more to be positive.
I don’t want to be toxic and sad all the time.
Being happy is a choice and you have to fight for it even when you have lost faith and hope.
You must fight.
You must take action.