Meaning of Family-a working definition

I have been looking for the meaning and structure of what a family is for as long as I can remember.

It has been so far, a working definition for me. At 25 I am still working out that definition and what I have come to realize is that there is no concrete definition.

I have family all over the world, most I have never met or seen in over 20 years. Yet we all have a history; and when we met we are all suppose to mix, get along and have a each others backs.

Not going to lie, whenever I see family I go puddy; no matter whether it is the first meeting or after a long time. I am so starved for attention and love from family throughout my day-to-day life that I can’t help myself when I come around them.

With that thought comes the fact that, I have been so far away from most of my family for so long that I can’t completely be myself around them. There is a huge cultural/generational gap with most of them; most of them are conservative/religious in nature and I am very liberal and left-wing. Therefore, my dressing sense, my opinions and my entire being doesn’t always mingle well with everyone.

So how does one find balance within and without when mingling with such diverse group of people? Here is what I have found the most helpful for MY family members:

  • Be honest but limited when it comes to your opinions; do not offer your opinion unless they ask. I am very timid and not very confrontational; so when I hear something I don’t agree with I excuse myself from the conversation or just listen to what everyone has to say and simmer in my own anger.
  • Keep your distance and have fun: never know who the shit talker is in the family. Don’t spill any beans and just continue having empty minded fun.
  • Thou shall run the other way: When religion talk comes up — if you are oppose to what they say then just RUN !
  • Accept all gift with open arms: Family — I saw — are very generous with their gift giving skills; specially when you are the youngest. You taketh as they giveth.
  • Always be thankful and generous with your love and compliments; that’s all they need in return of their gift giving

End of the day; forgive and move on; they are “family” after all. No matter how far and how long you run they will be there at the end of the line with cups of water waiting for you to hydrate.

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