I agree with so much of what you wrote. I also disagree with so much of what you wrote. I have been treated negatively in many of the ways you used as reasons why people never come back. I don’t think it’s right to blame imperfect people for the behavior of another. Once the decision to leave has been made, nothing anyone does is going to make a difference. In fact, no matter what you do, you can be blamed for “fill in the blank”, and it will be used as yet another reason justifying the leaving. When people were treating me badly, I didn’t leave. Where else could I go to take the sacrament? When I had questions I couldn’t immediately answer, I went to the temple until I got my answers. We all have choices to make. We all have a journey of faith that we are on. Most people don’t know how to act when they are scared. You were really condescending about that. Of course people are going to be scared for a loved one who is leaving the safety of the commandments. You were right that we all need to be more about love, yet you turn around and condemn the people reaching out and and at least trying. Reality — the pain someone feels when they cut their heartstrings with God isn’t just their own — the people around them are suffering also. And what is so wrong about someone saying that they are praying for you? We should say thank you, and be touched. It means someone cares about you. What you failed to mention is that often when someone leaves the church they are against everything you believe in, and you are no longer allowed to discuss anything related to it. They make rules that have to be followed if you are going to be allowed a relationship with them. That’s emotional blackmail, and unhealthy. None of us should have a chip on our shoulders, and none of us have the right to judge others — whatever side of the church we’re on.