Startups and Stress
Jumping into the startup arena right after graduation was definitely a huge decision. Part of the appeal of this path was not having to deal with insane hours that banking or finance positions demanded, which is where I would have found myself. The irony of the situation and something that I’ve realized more and more as SocialBrew grows is that in order to succeed with (co)founding a startup, you’re constantly on call. You’re the one who sets the hours and the pace at which you and your team works. If something pops up you have to be ready to respond. This could be anything from user/client emails, website crashes, VC inquires, bugs popping up, meeting requests — you name it. Consequently, this just adds onto your main goal of growing your business and paving a path to success. The point I’m trying to make here is that the true demands of running a startup become more apparent the deeper into the process you get — something that a wide-eyed college graduate might not readily grasp. Despite this, I pursued this path because I want to put all my skills against whatever the world tosses at me, and I feel that growing a business with an awesome team has allowed me to do just that.
However, there’s still stress. And stress affects each person differently. For me it was a panic attack.
Now while the above clip takes a light stab at the topic of panic attacks, I experienced a pretty severe one. When I used to hear the term before I actually had one, I used to think that it was just something people would say when they were feeling particularly overwhelmed in the moment. And I still think that on occasion people use the term freely, not realizing what it actually means to have a panic attack. From my experience, I literally thought I was having a heart attack. It was just like any other day — nothing crazy or particularly stressful was happening, it was just another day at the office as they say. However, suddenly and painfully my heart started beating intensely. I didn’t know how to process it in those first few seconds. Maybe I thought it was just something weird that would pass in a moment, but the seconds began to feel like hours and every beat felt like a intense stab to my chest. I knew something was horribly wrong. Now I never had a panic attack nor a heart attack before that moment, but I assumed that whatever I was experiencing was indeed a heart attack due to the severity of the pain. Funnily enough (in hindsight) this actually caused me to panic MORE because I thought I was dying. I grabbed my phone and ran outside my house, figuring that if I collapsed or passed out at least someone would potentially see it happen and call for help. As the stabbing beats continued (now this is about a minute in) for some reason I didn’t call 911. I somehow rationalized in the moment that I couldn’t have been functioning as well as I was if this were a heart attack. So outside in the cold weather with just a pair of shorts on, I slowly paced around trying to breathe and called my local doctor. They said to just take a cab over so I called for one, hopped in, and sat there as the beats continued to hurt, albeit maybe a little intensely. Needless to say, I was shaken up for the rest of the day, had to take some prescribed Xanax to settle, and didn’t quite feel like myself for a period of time after this incident. Now for some more Silicon Valley:
So as I mentioned before, it really was a normal day. But I believe that there had been so much I was worrying about subconsciously for the startup’s sake that it all just spontaneously affected me. As the next few weeks went on, I still felt physically uncomfortable after the attack, but I knew I had to figure out ways to deal with stress. I’m just going to lay out several things I did to help recompose myself and deal with stress. I like to think that everyone who has experienced something similar could find something from the following list that could help them personally.
- Love those who love you.
Whether it’s your parents, your friends, your partner, or just people from your community, love them unequivocally. If my team is working every day for people to spend a few more minutes caring about SocialBrew, can you imagine what it must mean for someone to love you as an individual — to have you on their mind throughout the day? They are your support system and they want you to be happy and succeed. You might find yourself quite busy and might not be in a position to always be with them, but never take that love for granted — stay as connected with them as much as you can. It’ll work wonders.
2. Exercise.
If you’re working on a startup, or just in general, finding time to exercise on top of all these other tasks might seem like a burden, but it really does help. I found that despite being a bit beat after working out, I’m oddly energized and willing to tackle everything else on my list. This will only become truer over time as you get in better and better shape. Stop focusing just on the mental tasks you have to conquer and worry about your physical self too. They’re more connected than you think.
3. Find time to pursue your other passions.
It’s common to hear that you have to pour all your time into your startup because your competitors are catching up to you. Yes, that is very true. But taking some time to pursue your other interests that make you feel happy or otherwise fulfilled go a long way to revitalizing your mental health. This will ultimately affect how you perform and you’ll be more productive in the hours you do spend working. So don’t become too much of a martyr and find time to do things that make you feel complete.
4. Bond with your team.
If you’re lucky to be working with an awesome team, explore those bonds. You all share a strong common experience by being part of the same company. If it’s at a startup, all of you are taking a certain level of risk pursuing the larger mission. Realizing that you all share this bond and have each others’ backs should help you feel less alone in the experience and more supported.
5. Talk.
Talking with people about your worries and stress is the most important thing. I personally feel that high levels of stress and anxiety are not too far off from depression. No matter what stage you’re at, talk with those around you. If you have go out to meet new people or make new friends to chat with, go do it. Getting the weight of the world off your mind is really the best cure. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, feel free to email me: mconnelly@socialbrew.me. I’ll listen.
-Matthew Connelly
