IN MEMORY OF TREVOR GOULD AND HELP TO OUR VETERANS
My son, Trever Dean Gould was born on June 4, 1987 in Marshall Minnesota.
After graduating high school, Trever went to WYO Tech in Wyoming and then enlisted in the Army. He was assigned to the 3rd ACR out of Ft. Hood, Texas and was trained as a diesel mechanic and went on recovery missions. He served in Mosul, Iraq from 2007 to 2009. This is a picture of Trever and myself before he was deployed to Iraq. The other pictures show Trever with his Army brothers hanging out at Mosul and playing Halo. They won the championship that year. He loved playing Halo and playing Guitar Hero. He was great at both.
My father (Trever’s grandfather) and great uncles were in the service, but they never speak about it. My father was in the Army and I was born in Germany. Trever chose the Army because all of our family members that were in the military were in the Army. My son had specialized training, but I am not comfortable or even sure that I can talk about it. When he was over in Iraq I found out he was out on missions a lot.
There are so many occurrences that he saw in Iraq. The one I know of first hand was the December 23, 2007 shooting. He called home and was crying and asking me if God would forgive him for killing. He said it was either him, and his men, or that man. Trever asked, “What if he was a father or a husband and would God forgive him?” I really didn’t know what to say. I just wanted him home. I just wanted to hold him and let him know it was ok. All I could say was, “Trever, what would that guy be doing right now if the situation was the other way around?” and Trever said, “He would be celebrating.” So I let him know that God was there with him and the right thing happened.” After that he would not talk about any other bad things to me. I found his award after he died. He threw away almost everything dealing with the military and war before he died. I knew he had footage on his computer from some of his missions but he deleted it all.
He was not the same happy go lucky son I use to have prior to his service. He was depressed, angry, withdrawn and kept everything to himself. I knew nothing about PTSD at the time and I regret that every day. I just thought he would get through it. We have had a hard life and made it through it before. When he got out of the service, he could not find a job. He had been away for 4 years and no experience in the workplace.
When people thank me for my son’s service today, I just say thank you. I know some mean it and some just say it because they feel they have to or it’s the right thing to do. I will be honest that on the inside I get angry not because of them but because the military failed him and failed so many others. With the growing suicides occurring each day, the VA continues to fail so many today. I vow that I will do everything I can so no other mother has to lose her baby the way I did. Trever saved so many lives before and after his death. He is a Hero and always will be in my book.
He keeps on saving lives every day through the Trever Gould Soldier’s Help Project. This organization began when I stood up in my front yard about 20 minutes after I found my son dead in the garage. I screamed, “This has to stop!” No more moms are going to go through this if I can help it. I was doing a television interviews two days later. Trever took his life while home on break from college in Mankato, MN. He was my only son who left behind 3 sisters whose lives were forever changed. On the night of Trever’s death, I went up to his room to see if there were any signs of anything that I missed. I found his military medical records showing that he had cried out and asked for help many times and all they did was push him out the door. A few months after my son died, a college professor from Mankato also took his life. He was also a Veteran who had been stationed in Mosul, Iraq.
The Trevor Gould Soldiers Help Project Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/TrevorGouldMemorial/timeline is dedicated to the memory of Trever Gould, and to helping the system to change. Soldiers in transition need more help than what they are getting. We want to save the lives of our Veteran soldiers and active duty soldiers. I believe the best way to honor my son’s memory is to save his brothers and sisters who served and are serving from the same fate and have established SOLDIERS HELP PROJECT FUND TO STOP VETERAN SUICIDE https://www.youcaring.com/trever-gould-soldiers-help-projec…
Our non-profit organization provides contacts in Specialized Treatment for PTSD Combat Veterans and so much more nationwide.
~ Sheri Johnson
Comes A Soldier’s Whisper honoring our Veterans one day at a time…