Great article. It definitely rings true. Sometimes you are both trying really hard to make a date (or perhaps an entire relationship) work and it just doesn’t work. My wife and I employ some of your “tricks”. Sometimes it works, sometimes we need a little more time.
Also — side note — there are different conflicts with different resolutions. Your Doom Spiral is just one of many types. And sometimes I am the guy starting it off as the “female” defining the trouble.
I just wrote a post about one of those nights where things won’t come together. I’d love your feedback. It’s at: https://medium.com/@SomeDutchGuy/how-i-told-my-wife-i-was-sleeping-with-her-friend-46b58bb8f179