Why I wish I was a man.

The more kids I have, the busier my life is. The busier my life is, the busier my husbands life is. Or is it?

In recent weeks I have become increasingly aware of our different approaches and its made me wonder, is this just me and my husband, or is it all men and women? And quite frankly how do I become more man because im tired of being the woman!

I want to swap.

Heres a few examples I have noticed.

  1. Leaving the house. I dig out the holiday sized rucksack and spent 20 minutes tearing the house up packing 3 drinks, 3 fruit, 3 biscuits, 3 boxes of raisins, nappies, wipes, nappy bag, spare trousers and pants, 3 hoodys, suncream, tissues, money, phone and whatever toy the baby is attached to. Spend the next 10minutes screaming at the kids to get their shoes on, giving up and doing it all for them, bribe them with a sweet if they will ‘try for a wee’, neck a few headache tablets, bung on my nearest shoes and drag them and all the stuff out the house shouting, sweating and knackered.

Husband will calmly pick up his wallet and keys and walk out the door.

2. Having a BBQ. Well the great British summer is rapidly approaching and every year we think it will be a wonderful idea to have friends over for BBQs. And it is. Once I have gone through my preparatory routine which will usually involve; scrubbing the BBQ racks in the sink and turning the whole kitchen charcoal black. Deep cleaning the kitchen. Going to Tesco/Asda/Aldi and Lidl in an attempt to source last minute BBQ food. Spend hours in the kitchen preparing an assortment of side dishes which only the women will eat. Find all the plates, cutlery, condiments, napkins and lay them all out. Chill the booze. Prepare kids drinks. Blow up the paddling pool. Fill the paddling pool. Dig out come costumes, towels, suncream and sunhats. Lay all of the meat on a plate beside the BBQ and even clean dishes to put the cooked meat in. Clean down the garden furniture. Cut the grass. Invite and liaise with fellow stressed mum friend. Finally ready await arrival of guests and offer them drinks on arrival.

Husband will waltz along at feeding time, turn the sausages a few times and receive all the credit for cooking a ‘nice BBQ mate’.

3. Going to bed. Once the kids are in bed it would be nice to relax and enjoy the evening. However I cannot go to bed before I have; laid out the next mornings breakfast dishes, packed the school bag, packed the nursery bag, laid out the kids clothes, laid out my clothes, made my packed lunch, sent numerous messages to confirm kids logistics, cleansed my face, applied eye cream, serum, night cream, hand cream and lipbalm, brushed my teeth, flossed my teeth, creep in to check on the kids and finally fall into bed exhausted.

Husband will brush his teeth, stay up late watching Netflix and snore his way through the 57 times I have to get up to see to the kids in the night.

So although this blog may seem like it is taking the piss out of men, I actually think they are the ones laughing at us. Should us manic women follow their examples and just calm the f**k down? Should we live our lives as a man for a week or would the world come tumbling down around us?

Please do share and let me know if you have found the answers!

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