Annotated Lyrics of the Songs I Sing to my Girlfriend’s Dachshund to the Tune of Migos’s “Bad and Boujee.”

The Holy Bea.
  1. “Cute and Stupid”

Cute and stupid / eatin’ and peein’ and poopin’.”

The paired adjectives that begin the song offer assertions that the oblong canine, whose name is Beatrice, is pleasurable to observe, in part because of the dog’s simplistic preoccupations, which are detailed by the trio of verbs in the second half of the song’s lyrics.

2. “Wuddle Weiner”

Wuddle weiner / beggin’ and whinin’ for dinner.”

Here, Sommer starts with a phonetic pronunciation of the word “little” to indicate he often speaks to Beatrice in CDS (child-directed speech, i.e. “baby talk”) at feeding times. “Wuddle” also contributes to the alliterative quality of the line, while “weiner” forms a slanted rhyme with “dinner.”

3. “Bad and Barkin’”

Bad and barkin’ / walking on up to the parkin’”

By briefly quoting the original lyrics in the first half of the couplet, Sommer sets up an anticipatory response in the listener — Is this an homage or a straight cover? — which he then dashes. A new image arises, that of Beatrice barking, to Sommer’s chagrin, at other dogs while on a walk to a park. The extra syllable is added so as to form a feminine rhyme between “barkin’” and “parkin.”

4. “Tiny Booty”

Ti-ny booty / chasing a squirrel with a Uzi (whoa)”

The introductory phrase refers to Beatrice’s diminutive rump, which is exaggerated by the tapering that occurs between the cranial and caudal ends of her body. The second phrase is independent of the first and seems merely to evoke an image suggestive of the dog’s feelings about squirrels. The final word, “Uzi,” is assonant with “booty” and is used in the song.

5. “Brown and Goopy”

Brown and goopy / that what it’s like when you dookie.”

Again Sommer references the dog’s bowel movements, this time evoking their color and (occasional) texture.

6. “Boopy Snootin”

Boo-py snootin’ / looking like ‘What are you doing?’

Boo-py snootin’ / frontin’ like Vladimir Putin”

Sommer’s most ambitious song to date, it contains twice as many lines as the other entries in his oeuvre. Linguistic liberties appear right out of the gate: An unaccented syllable is added to the onomatopoetic word “boop,” which refers to the sound one would make when lightly poking an animal’s snout, i.e. it’s “snoot.” Taken together, “boopy snooting” seems to refer to the entire process in which Sommer places either his finger, or more often, his own nose, against Beatrice’s nose while simultaneously saying “boop.” The second half of the line refers to the bewildered look in the dog’s eyes while all this is happening, a look seen often on her face when Sommer sings to it.

The second line echoes the beginning of the first then appears to imply that the dachshund considers herself to be an autocrat entitled to possess and dominate anything she encounters.

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