3 Non-conventional Ways I Attempted to Make Friends:
What worked V.S. What didn’t
Moving to a new city is always so exciting and scary at the same time. You basically have to learn how to start over with everything. You have your own place and you need to buy furniture for it and put food in the fridge and you have these bills that you’re trying to keep track of and on top of THAT, you have to build a new life for yourself.
That means you gotta get some friends and you gotta get them pronto.
Being someone whose weirdness drives their every move, I decided that with a new city, I really had nothing to lose because nobody knew who the heck I was!! So why not try and make friends using all of the ways one might be considered a “weirdo.”
I tried three different methods to make friends and here is what I learned from all of them:
1. The “Secret Not-So-Admirer”
Yes, you read that correctly. With this method, I simply spotted a car that had stickers on it that I thought were relatively compatible with things that I also enjoyed. I then proceeded to write a note to place on their car asking to be friends. Something short like, “Hey! Lets be friends you seem so cool lol,” with my Twitter and Instagram handles for a solid yet not too personal way to get in touch with me. A few short days later I had a new follower and a very nice Direct Message!! It was a guy from California and it definitely seemed like this could be the start of a solid friendship but at some point, I didn’t receive a follow up text from him and the friendship crashed in on itself like a dying star. What I expect happened, was the process of how weird it was of me to leave a note on his car finally hit him and he decided I might be crazy. BUT I did actually get him to contact me so would I do it again to someone else? YES! Just for shits and giggles most likely though. It was not so effective in the actual friendship making agenda.
2. The “Bait and Hook”
Alright, this one is honestly somewhat controversial because it is very similar to how modern day kidnappings happen. I live really close to a Central Market so one night I had walked to that Central Market to get some groceries and noticed two guys playing pool in the activity center of my apartment complex. I love pool and I like guys!! I ended up purchasing a tub of ice cream from Central Market for myself and while I was walking back I thought to myself, “how crazy would it be to ask them to eat this with me?” I have found that my life increases by 1,000 on the joy scale when I stop questioning everything I do and actually just do it! So I marched right into that activity center and said “y’all wanna split this ice cream?” We ended up having such a great time playing pool and eating ice cream and I learned that one of the guys actually works at my church! It was so great that I got to make that connection and to think I never would’ve met him if I hadn’t lured him into my mini van of friendship with my sweet sweet ice cream. Effective? 100%. It might be scary to just walk up to people you don’t know and ask to hang out but more times then not, it is so worth it!
3. Toilet Talk
This method is like pillow talk but instead of a room, it’s a bathroom, and instead of your partner, it’s the person in the stall next to you. Just as intimate, just as effective. It’s a moment where you are just so vulnerable and even though you are surrounded by metal walls, everyone knows what you’re doing in there. So why not talk about it and make it less weird, ya know? The woman in the stall next to me was actually such a slay queen. I could already tell just by our conversation. This method was actually one of my favorites because you get to have this deep conversation with someone and you don’t even know what they look like!! There was literally no way for prejudice to be present in this situation because to the two of us, we were just two girls on the pot sharing a convo about burgers. I actually did meet her outside of the stall and she was absolutely beautiful!! She had told me that she just moved from New Jersey and didn’t feel like she fit in yet and she was so happy that I started that conversation with her because it made her feel welcomed. I loved that so much! I hate to imagine that if I had just ignored her presence, she would’ve felt like the world around her was ignoring her presence all together. Again, this is by far my favorite method to use and I will definitely be using it again in the near future.
Overall, I loved this experience. Life can get kind of boring if you stick to the same routine every day. Even when it comes to making friends. When you step out of your way to talk to someone or contact someone in a non-conventional way, It can seriously boost the confidence of the person you’re trying to reach. All the people I met while doing this were so cool and so genuine and I know that I would not have gotten the pleasure to meet them and get to know them had I not stepped out of my own comfort zone for once.
To quote my favorite movie ever, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop to look around every once and awhile — you could miss it.”
Get out there and do something weird!