Why I’m never going back to play group.

I decided to take my toddler to play group today and even dressed up a little for the occasion, which in itself is a BIG DEAL. Wore boots with a heel too. Why not, I am going OUT after-all.

In all honesty, I find going to these groups mega stressful and think it’s a little unnatural throwing volatile toddlers together who don’t know each other, and expecting them to all get along, play nice and SHARE.

After dropping middle child at school I thought it would be a good idea to walk to the next village where the playgroup is held. Felt rather energetic and proud of myself. It was down hill all the way. I quickly realised that my choice in shoes weren’t great and I was running more then walking. The handle bars of the buggy were way to low for any person. I clung onto the buggy for dear life. For over a mile!

Finally made it. Out of breath, slightly sticky and pink in the face. Ready to PLAY. I had visions of me sitting down with a cuppa watching my 20 month old play independently.

Instead, it all went horribly wrong. He smacked 2 kids in the face. Knocked 6 chairs over, YES I counted. Had several tantrums. Glorious ones. One where he threw himself on the floor kicking and screaming, over what I do not know. One where he spun himself round and round in a circle tilting his head back then collapsing on the floor, again no idea why. The third he decided to smack his head into the play kitchen unit over and over again. Each one of these GLORIOUS tantrums also had a level of screaming that came with it!

Snack time! Heaven help me. He refused to sit with the rest of the children. Instead, he threw his cup across the table got up and knocked his chair over whilst screaming. He even went pink in his face. He then walked off, picked up a doll and chucked it to the ground saying naughty baby!

Everything went quiet and it felt as if all eyes were on us and in that moment I became THAT mum and him THAT child.

I pretended he wasn’t mine, that I was his nanny and left early.

Walked back UP that bladdy hill.

By the time I got to my car I was dripping, red in the face and smelt awful. My lady bits were even sweating and my gums were aching!!

The irony is that he never ever ever behaves like that. I swear. I honestly have no idea why he kicked off.

Can one be allergic to play groups?

Moral of the story, there will come a time when we all become THAT mum and they become THAT child whether we like it or not.

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