Fresh starts : an addiction
The beginning is the most important part of the work.
I hate endings. Yes, they’re the necessary, unavoidable bittersweet tonic we need in life to grow and move forward— but they’re painful as hell. Everything comes to an end eventually and one must accept that if one doesn’t want to end up (pun intended) bat-shit crazy.
I like to breeze through endings. If there’s a cliff ahead of me and I am destined to fall, I am going to sprint and jump off it. I don’t want to take my sweet time cherishing what I have, if I know it’s going to crash and burn in the near future. Which is a stupid outlook, I agree. But I just cannot stop doing it. It is like an addiction. I do this not only because I want to get it over with, but also because there is something about fresh starts that keeps me afloat in this dying, morbid world.
A fresh start is another shot. It is a chance to be a new person, a different person, a better person. It is a chance to learn new things that can change the direction of one’s life. And that is exciting. It is another hopeful chance at something that might last forever. This is why I am addicted to fresh starts. I end things prematurely to start afresh. I abandon things so that I can start again. I leave projects, I leave thoughts, I leave people when the fear of something going wrong begins to set in.
Medium for me, is another fresh start.
But I don’t want it to be another excuse to run from an old project. I want this to be a chance for me to change and improve for the better. I don’t want to abandon it the way I abandoned Blogger, Wattpad, WordPress because I couldn’t get people to read what I wrote. I want to stick to this and improve my writing. I want to reach out to people and ask for help and advice when I hit a road block; not destroy the road. I am inconsistent but consistency is a habit. It is not a personality trait. I often tend to manipulate myself into thinking the latter. Which means I must develop a habit of being consistent, and I will be.
So here is the game plan — I shall post an article every Monday and a poem every Friday. And if I slack off, I shall punch myself in the face till I learn. Just kidding. Maybe not.
Either way, I hope you like what I write and I hope you see a steady growth in me as a writer and as a person. Maybe we’ll even grow together.
Here’s to fresh starts.
THE END. (Maybe this one was too much on the nose)