Relationships- If only they were easy!

Recently, I attended a full day workshop on holistic approach to life. Among many talks, there was a particular talk by an international speaker on ‘Art of relationships’. It wasn’t surprising that people were flocking to get a seat. The speaker herself confessed it was an enormous task to sum it all up in 30 minutes, a topic which could take days perhaps if not months. As I listened in, a light bulb flashed in my head, I could clearly see myself coming out of a deep well of ignorance. A few takeaways:

  1. The focus should be on US rather than THEM- Often we forget about our own and clog our minds with other’s behavior, attitude, habits and actions affecting our life situation. We easily overlook the same in us. To be successful at any relationship, be it with your children, parents, spouse, friends or work colleagues, its important to have clarity of your intention. Pause and ask this question ‘ What do I intend to achieve in this relationship?’ listen to your gut feeling. It’s scientifically proven that your gut is made up of same matter as your brain! If your intention is of love and your action does not align with the same, the result would be catastrophic. Your own Thought- Speech- Action alignment is imperative to achieve breakthrough or success in any relationship. Also, a universal truth, You cannot control Thought- Speech- Action of anyone else’s.., so its futile focusing on that.
  2. Do you love your self enough? What’s the first thing you do in the morning when you wake up?……..if not all, but most check their cell phones! With an action like this, you are actually focusing on what others are doing, rather than focusing on how you feel that morning and how can you make your day more creative and fulfilling. A minute lost will never come back. Indulge in activities that enrich you. Complete focus on your tasks ahead, eating healthy, exercising, giving positive affirmations or learning something new are some examples. In case your mood swings and you find yourself in negative space, try deep breathing until you feel relaxed. In nutshell, taking care of yourself and being in touch with your feelings leads to a happy place. I have added link to my another blog to elaborate on this. — Loving Yourself
  3. Law of receiving and giving — The law states that whatever vibrations you give out in the universe, you receive them back and sometimes in magnifying proportions. So be mindful of Thought -Speech- Action. Be patient and consistent with this approach to receive abundance and prosperity. let me give you an example, if you sow a mango seed, you cannot expect to eat the fruit instantly. It takes years to grow in a tree with correct amount of exposure to air , water and sunshine to receive its fruit. So be patient. This law also teaches you to balance in life. As you need a balanced diet constituting all the essential nutrients in right proportion to achieve a healthy body, similarly you have to balance giving and receiving to achieve a fulfilling life.
  4. Forgive and forget — Sounds easy, but difficult to imbibe. Forgiveness is one thing that most people struggle with everyday. Irony is not doing this leads to a lot of suffering and pain. Therefore, we have to remind ourselves everyday to be a bigger person and embrace forgiveness essentially for our own peace of mind. Anger with resentment is our biggest enemy. As Lord Buddha says, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with intent of throwing it at someone else; You are the one getting burned.”
  5. Smile often — It’s a simple gesture but rarely followed. Like Air, Earth and Sun are the basis of survival and are absolutely free. In the same way, a smile can go a long way to make someone’s as well as your day better and requires no amount of money. There is an experiment I would recommend you to try. Next time, if you find yourself in a conflict with someone and are about to explode in anger, just look up and smile! and then look straight into that person’s eye with a smile. It will definitely save you that explosion that you later might regret. It is in that one moment where you apply your wisdom and save relationships that matter instead of breaking them apart.

last but not the least, I will leave you with something to ponder on, a beautiful quote, I absolutely love:

“ Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” — Rumi