Psychedelic Egos

When exploring the risks of psychedelic use I typically encounter the most well known risks like Serotonin syndrome from continued use of anti-depressants (SSRIs), manic episodes being brought on in people with bipolar disorder, or triggering latent psychosis. These dangers are very real, and the increasing awareness of them is a positive trend in the psychedelic discourse. That being said, I’d like to talk about another risk that seems to fly under the radar in the psychedelic conversation:

Ego-inflation and delusions of grandeur onset by psychedelic exploration.

I have seen people leave ceremony believing they are the literal incarnation of Christ, that they are the saviors and healers of this broken world we live in. Western folks who believe they are shaman after sitting with ayahuasca one weekend in Florida. Untrained, uneducated, questionably intended, dangerous and delusional individuals who seem to be uninterested and unaware of the potential psychosis they’ve found themselves enveloped in.

The dangers of narcissism simply don’t need to be explained. My point is that psychedelics are not perfect and I’m pretty tried of them being spoke about as benevolent catalysts of healing, because they simply arent. I’ve found the term “non specific amplifiers” to be a bit more accurate. This conception places a bit more weight and responsibility on us, how we prepare for these experiences, and the ceremonial containers and traditions that have shaped the nature of these experiences for centuries.

I believe this danger is not only a reflection of our cultural sickness, but can be avoided with proper awareness, preparation, and integration. I’d like to really explore some thoughts around where this might be coming from, open a discussion around the matter, and form a few tangible steps for preventing its occurrence.

Lets start with the root, and our cultures most prominent god; Ego.

The Function of Ego

Ego is responsible for boundaries, for the understanding that you and I are not “one”with the computer in from of us, and thank god. Without an identity it would be pretty difficult to establish not only who we are in relation to others, those with a flimsy sense of self seem to suffer immeasurably because of it. The point I am making here is ego is not the enemy, ego is a beautiful expression of self that can easily be cherished and appreciated.

So what is the issue? Why and how has ego inflation, obsession, and worship become the focal point of our culture? Well. I certainly don’t have the answer to that enormous elephant of a question but what I can say is I have a suspicion this cultural and more collective expression of lack, insecurity, and addiction we call ego may be the source of these expansive psychedelic experiences ending in folks quitting their jobs and pouring internet ayahuasca because the medicine “called them to the path.”

The Wounded Ego

Ego may not be the enemy, but it’s wounding might be another story. If we follow the ideas of developmental psychology, the story starts during childhood. We received some form of trauma or don’t get our needs met, thus creating a wounded and reactive sense of self. Maybe on some level we internalized the belief that we are only worthy of love if we are successful at something, or fulfill a roll as care-taker or straight A student. This compensatory reaction becomes a shield, protecting us from the threat of uncertainty and from our impending feelings of unworthiness, while simultaneously preventing us from loving and expressing our truest selves and lives. What is wild is we can become so deeply lost in this armor to the point where the mask becomes mistaken for the face.

I’m not saying anything new here, but the irony is the mask we use to protect ourselves is the same mask that separates us from the very embodiment of authenticity we are actually seeking, the very divine union we seek. As Marion Woodman beautifully articulated:

“We can never get enough of the thing we think we want, but don’t actually need.”

Merging with Source.

So how does all of this fit into the psychedelic picture? The centerpiece of psychedelic experiences and subsequent healing is often based in the reorientation, death, and re birthing of our sense of identity. Terms such as ‘ego death’ and ‘pure awareness’ are commonly used to describe such experiences. Recent scientific research has noted the diminished activity in the ego, or the self-producing complex of the brain during psychedelic journeys — the default mode network. Mystics and psychedelic explorers alike report the experience of merging with source, of becoming one with creation or god. This being an obvious life altering experience.

What I am cautioning here is when we walk through this transcendent door with an unstable sense of self, we may be leaving ourselves very vulnerable to a crash landing. We could be returning to our normal awareness not with a greater sense of self love, but an inflated sense of self importance. This inflation doesn’t merely act as a speed bump in the expansion of our spiritual, mental, and emotional well-being; it is the antithesis of spiritual development. The hungry or starved ego feasts on the expansion that transcendence reveals.

The Science of Preparation

I believe we can prevent the ego from hijacking our experience by laying a proper foundation for the experience. An insight that has been practiced and embodied in indigenous ritual for centuries, something we simply have no respect for.

It is tradition in many transformational or initiation rituals to undergo a process of preparation and refinement before a journey. In the Lakota vision quest tradition, one prepares emotionally, physically, and spiritually for months prior to the quest. During Shipibo dieta, one is put on strict dietary, sexual, and social restriction. From yogis to amazonian shamans, the path to enlightenment-esque experiences are simply not taken without intentional acts of devotion, discipline, and refinement. This is very intentional, these are spiritual technologies refined over hundreds of years.

Think about it, when we devote ourselves in an authentic manner, and when we are seriously challenged, it acts to humble, to bring us closer to the earth. In isolation we reflect, in devotion we are humbled, and in restriction we loosen our attachments.

I don’t think it is a coincidence that these are reoccurring and central themes in the indigenous traditions. These preparation acts orient the ego in a settled, humbled, loving place, ready to receive transcendent experience.

I am not saying it is absolutely necessary to undergo the preparation required in some of these traditions when working with psychedelics, but taking preparation for the experience seriously IS essential.

What we can do to prepare is approach the medicine with respect and humility, not only in thought, but in our behavior prior to ceremony. This could look like preparing our minds by cultivating a daily meditation practice, or by focusing our intentions and awareness with conscious journaling and self inquiry. Maybe taking some time to study the culture the medicine you are ingesting comes from, listening to their songs, appreciating their art and history, applying their methods of preparation. Maybe we can more intentionally connect to what our bodies need nutritionally and physically, honoring our physical vessel a bit more deliberately.

We can use these techniques to create the ceremony before the ceremony. We can create a space of self reflection, mindful attention, and respect for the sacred space we will be entering. In this preparation journey, not only do we reduce the risks of ego inflation, we significantly increase our chances of actually being able to integrate the experience…a topic for another day, but

Integration starts with preparation

and there is significant research on the long term effectiveness of iboga treatments for addiction to back that up.

In conclusion and defense of the critical nature of my writing. My frustration is simply a reflection of the profound potential of these experiences, a potential I hate to see squandered by the same materialistic, egoistic, western psychosis that has squandered and pillaged the spiritual traditions of the Native Americans, the resources of the Amazon, global warming, and the atom bomb.

Let’s keep medicine sacred y’all.