taking the plunge
So. Dating. One word guaranteed to strike fear into even the hardiest of men. And I’m a self-confessed complete & utter wimp who tends to be terrified of the world, so imagine what it does to me?! God.
If someone had said to me a couple of years ago that I’d be branching out into the world of online dating I’d probably have had a mental breakdown, wondering how my life would get to such a point of despair and neediness. Up until around a year ago, I was in a pretty serious relationship with someone I’d been with since I was 19. (I’m now 25 for future reference, fact fans!) Things in said relationship weren’t horrendous, but they definitely weren’t the best either. From the start we had always been polar opposites, but what used to work slowly began working against us. Add to this the fact that steadily increasing unhappiness meant I put on a hell of a lot of weight (think Gwyneth Paltrow in Shallow Hal and you get the idea) & would actively make excuses not to see him…it was only a matter of time before it all went bust.
After the initial few weeks of mourning the past five years, I started to feel excited about the possibilities ahead. The last time I had been single, the preferred method of trying to land a boyfriend was seeing who you could drunkenly snog at a friend’s 18th & then send a few mildly flirty messages to on Bebo, & I’m pretty sure using the same approach at 25 is not a way to ensure lasting romantic happiness. A lot of my friends had mentioned Tinder as the best/only way to meet people these days, but to be honest at first it scared the shit out of me. Surely it was impossible to actually meet someone online who wasn’t actually a total dick? Or who wasn’t looking for a one night stand? Or worse, horror of horrors, what if not one guy found me even mildly attractive & I didn’t get a single match?! If there’s one thing I excel at in life, it’s that vital skill of insecurity so I did not need that shit raining on my parade.
Everyone I spoke to about it assured me I was being utterly ridiculous & it would change my life, so I took the plunge. Painstakingly chose a few (hopefully) half-decent pictures where I didn’t look awful, tried to write a short but funny bio which highlighted my DAZZLING charm but also made me look suitably nonchalant about the whole thing (lol) & that was it. I was in.