Lovesickness: Causes, Symptoms and Cures

Are you feeling like your heart has been ripped out of your chest? Apparently, you’re not being melodramatic. Lovesickness is a real thing and it can impact your physical as well as mental health, but there are ways to find relief. Love is something we can’t escape from. Intertwined in novels, movies and history, love is ever-present in our daily lives. Love not only lifts us up, but it also brings us down. If you’re wondering how to cure lovesickness, you’ve found your way to the right destination.

Whether it’s a nasty breakup, unrequited love or even problems in your present relationship, periods of longing, depression and hopelessness are bound to follow. Heartache has the potential to interfere with your life to a point that it affects your physical and mental well-being. As a matter of fact, lovesickness can feel exactly like it sounds — an illness.

Lovesickness in the Middle Ages

Physicians in medieval times thought of lovesickness as being a medical condition caused by sexual desire stemming from the sight of beauty. People back then thought lovesickness was caused by an imbalance in the body. This is because medical ideas in the middle ages were based on four bodily humors — phlegm, blood, yellow bile and black bile. All four humors were perfectly balanced in a healthy person whereas it was widely believed that a disturbance to the balance could lead someone to lovesickness. If left untreated, lovesickness was believed to have serious consequences, such as loss of genitals, death or eternal damnation.

Modern Understanding of Lovesickness

We now know that lovesickness won’t lead to eternal damnation but modern psychology does recognize the phenomenon as being very real. In the year 1979, psychologist Dorothy Tennov coined the term limerence to describe lovesickness — severe romantic attraction and a dire need to have the attraction reciprocated. Maybe this effect of lovesickness isn’t all that surprising but studies have shown that romantic love can be downright addictive. In the early throes of love, people experience the pleasure chemical, also known as dopamine, flooding their brain’s reward centers. As the relationship continues to grow, validation is needed to keep this high going. When the relationship catapults, lovesick individuals face effects similar to those felt during a drug withdrawal.

Early Signs of Lovesickness

Addiction psychiatrist David Slack says there are some early signs that point towards lovesickness. These include:

· Nagging intrusive thoughts about the love interest

· A fixation with finding signs of reciprocation

· A sense of euphoria when reciprocation is received

· Experiencing physical symptoms like flushing, trembling, palpitations or weakness in the presence of the love interest

· Restlessness and trouble sleeping at night

· A constant fear of rejection

· Thoughts of suicide or self-harm when rejection occurs

While some of these symptoms may seem mild, Slack says they can transform into something more serious. Insomnia, self-doubt and intrusive thoughts are often precursors of major depression. Additionally, long-term exposure to stress and anxiety can put people at a greater risk for stroke and heart diseases.

What It Means to Feel Lovesick

Lovesickness has not been clinically recognized as a mental health condition. It’s more of a biological response. When you’re lovesick, you may become consumed by feelings or thoughts of craving for the romantic love of someone. How you experience lovesickness can differ based on the uniqueness of each scenario. You can feel lovesick in various situations, including but not limited to:

· Mourning the loss of a partner

· Lacking the ability to physically or emotionally connect with someone

· Experiencing unrequited love

· Severely missing a partner who’s distanced from you temporarily

· General longing for love

Some people claim to feel lovesick when they first start falling for someone new. Those feel-good signs can appear as excitement, lust or pure joy. But the undesirable feelings of lovesickness don’t line up with the desirable emotions associated with experiencing happy, healthy, requited love.

Symptoms of Lovesickness

There are many symptoms to look out for if you’re wondering how to cure lovesickness. These include:

· Incessantly thinking about the love interest

· Spending a lot of time waiting for their text or call

· Feeling unmotivated

· Daydreaming or replaying encounters and conversations in your mind

· Experiencing insomnia

· Experiencing frequent mood changes

· Isolating yourself from anyone that’s not your lover

Can someone actually become sick from these symptoms? Not necessarily but it’s possible. Clinical counselor Pareen Sehat says you could be so heartbroken after a breakup that it begins to interfere with your regular routine and keeps you from accomplishing your day’s tasks. You could feel so vulnerable and meek that it begins to impact your physical health. According to Sehat, the following could also be symptoms of lovesickness:

· Fever

· Agitation

· Headaches

· Loss of appetite

· Heart palpitations

· Rapid breathing

Sehat believes one explanation for these symptoms is that your brain becomes overloaded with dopamine during the initial phase of romantic love and when that neurochemical rush dissipates, symptoms of lovesickness could begin to occur.

Conditions Intensified by Lovesickness

Lovesickness can intensify certain mental health conditions such as:

· Depression

· Anxiety disorders

· PTSD or post-traumatic stress disorder

· OCD or obsessive-compulsive disorder

· BPD or borderline personality disorder

Lovesickness can trigger and intensify these conditions because you can become easily overwhelmed and unable to control your emotions. You can even have a panic attack, says Sehat. If you fear being abandoned or your brain is naturally low on dopamine from a condition like ADHD or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, you might experience a harder crash after a breakup or the loss of a person who made you feel happy and safe. Alterations in other brain chemicals like serotonin, noradrenaline, cortisol and testosterone can also lead to someone feeling lovesick.

The Cure for Lovesickness

Due to brain chemicals losing their balance, lovesickness can feel like a rollercoaster ride. But is there a way to put an end to this misery? The idea of healing a broken heart is literally as old as love itself. Ancient treatments for lovesickness revolved around exercise, phlebotomy, bloodletting, drinking water and avoiding rich foods and wine. Modern cures tend to focus on addressing mental health. While lovesickness may not heal overnight, behavioral and cognitive techniques to alter one’s thinking can place someone on the road to recovery.

How to Heal from Lovesickness

If you’re wanting to find out how to cure lovesickness, the good news is that this condition is temporary and there are many ways to deal with it. Although there is no official treatment as such, there are ways to cope and self-soothe when you’re feeling lovesick. These ways will surely bring you relief. Sehat suggests the following tips for healing from this condition:

· Refrain from forcing yourself to feel a certain way if it doesn’t come to you naturally

· Give yourself time

· Share how you’re feeling with your loved ones

· Express what you’re feeling in a diary

· Exercise

· Eat well

If feeling lovesick begins to interfere with your ability to function normally, think about approaching a mental health professional. With the help of therapy, you can understand the root cause of your feeling, process your emotions and work towards recovery. If you contain your feelings, on the other hand, they can be triggered at a later time. Even if you think you’ve recovered, you could go back to square one.

Don’t repress or bottle up your lovesickness. Let it out so you can completely process what you’re going through and get rid of it for good. Focusing so much on loving another person can cause you to neglect your own needs so don’t forget to take care of yourself. Lovesickness is not forever, it can be healed. So don’t worry about how much time it will take — recover at your own pace without the fear of being judged.