Miracle VS Magic Wand
30 days Mindful and compassionate (1/30)
You practice Mindfulness and yet, on day you notice something strange…
“What happens ? I feel sad, depressed… I have a million thoughts coming to me. Bad thoughts, really hurtful thoughts… Is Mindfulness working ?”
I must confess that it is my case. Because of personal issues, a really bad night of sleep and an accumulation of many tiring things, I felt really depressed yesterday despite a lot of mindful practicing.
I did a 20 minutes meditation, I did Mindful walking, tried to be mindful as soon as I could… But I ended up in a room watching TV shows lied down in my bed.
So… is mindfulness worthless ?
Not at all, it’s just not a Magic Wand.
You see, each time I practiced, I felt a little better, I felt myself, my thoughts gave me a little break. But as I said, I have personal issues, important things to think… so my thoughts are completely legitimate ; they are here to help me and they will if I don’t become their slave, if I don’t get caught in them.
If I notice them quietly, aware of my emotions ; they can strongly help me figuring out what to do with my problem.
So, Mindfulness is not a Magic Wand that can let my sadness go, that can change me from depressed to not depressed.
And maybe I don’t want it.
My sadness is a treasure of information, it’s a feeling that was generated for a good reason. So if I’m able to see my sadness with equanimity, I can go deep in myself and understand crucial things.
Because I have a magic wand to turn my sadness off.
It’s called Self hypnosis.
With self hypnosis ; EFT for instance, you can remove a feeling that you don’t like.
But what’s the point ?
My sadness is gone, but my problem is still here. I’ll just be more confused, with less information.
That’s why I meditate everyday but practice hypnosis very rarely and carefully. Because I see that it causes disequilibrium in my mind if I use it to much… Practicing hypnosis too often is like killing all your messengers.
So Instead of using a Magic Wand, I prefer opening my eyes to see miracles.
Mindfulness IS a miracle because when you use it, you see that everything is a miracle.
This morning, I was taking my shower, trying to be mindful.
My thoughts went :
“Oh… my problem, how can I fix it… If i do that… no, it’s worse, but If I do this, it’s worse to… OMG….”
Then my consciousness went :
“Oh, stop. now you’re taking your shower, so… take your shower ; fell the water flowing on your skin, feel the walls around you, imagine all the journey the water has to do, to arrive to you… It’s a miracle. And, your breath, it’s a miracle too…”
My problems were still there, but I felt better with them, and stronger to face them.
Maybe a part of my sadness even comes FROM mindfulness.
Being aware of more and more things in myself, maybe this sadness and depression were sleeping deep down in my spirit/body and woke up. Sometimes when you meditate, you feel really unpleasant sensations rising. But if, instead of going :
“Oh… what is it ?! Oh no, no… I’m scared !!!! It’s s unpleasant, go away, go away”
You go :
“Ok, that’s a sensation of warmth in my throat, let’s take a closer look. Oh, it goes with the rhythm of my heart… Every second”…
You’ll see it objectively, understand deep things about yourself, and It might go away for every.
And this, I see it as a miracle, but not a magic wand.
Each time you know yourself better, it’s a miracle. Breathing, walking, eating, having people around you, all of that is miraculous if you think about it. Just take a look at science ; we don’t understand biodiversity, but it’s there, we have a surface understanding of our bodies, of the universe, of our minds but it’s there. It’s a Miracle.
But, okay, maybe you’ll say : Covid is a Miracle ? People dying in Mediterranean sea is a miracle ? Hunger is a miracle ?
Of course not. I didn’t say that everything in life was a miracle. But I said that many thinks we don’t even look at daily are miraculous.
And if you learn to see that, to live mindfully, you may take enough forces to do something about Covid, refugees or hunger.
So Mindfulness is a Miracle, not a Magic wand.
That’s why I decided to live Mindfully for 30 days, starting today. To live this miracle, to walk on this path with wonders and suffering, but leading to reality.
Harsh reality brings more happiness than fake joy. Illusions might give you some pleasure but not happiness.
So… I feel my breath, i’m conscious of my body, I see my thoughts coming and going… And with kindness, a smile on my face, I tell you :
Be happy and see you tomorrow :-)