Horse Doctor: Viewing an Entire Season of a Korean Program pt 1

I do not know Korean. I know very little Spanish even. I’m a full-blooded American English speaking moron. I recently was looking for a show to watch on Hulu, and stumbled upon a show called Horse Doctor. I mentioned the show on a social media outlet and very good internet pal boobie_styles recommended I write a medium post about this show.

So here we are! I am a little faded off lorazepam and ready to watch Horse Doctor and enjoy it. It is an hour long show based on a royal doctor or something of that nature? I didn’t read too much into the plot because I want to interpret the show as I see it. I will be making a post every Monday or Tuesday night after viewing an episode.

Episode 1:

The first episode starts with a man walking across the sands of time. He’s wearing a very strange outfit that’s definitely not conducive to hot weather. The man predictably passes out onto the sand as the camera pans away.

A bunch of Korean soldiers whom have torches and weapons approach a woman who is holding a baby. They take the baby from her and just slaughter the hell out of her. I have a feeling this baby will be very important later in the story.

Back to the man in too many clothes collapsed on the sand. He is talking to God I believe. God is telling him about the horses and everyone seems to be in a good mood, indicated by the uplifting music being played. Until you see the collapsed sand fella in the possession of the Korean soldiers… There are a couple women who see the man being brought back into the village by the soldiers and seem visibly upset.

The story flashes aside again. There is a horse laying down being worked on medically. I guess, as a major shocker to me, this show is literally about a Horse Doctor. There’s a horse, right outside of where they’re fixing up another horse, acting a god damn fool. Until a man (who I just found out is clearly a Horse Master) contains the horse and takes it in to be worked on by the Horse Doctor. There is now a very large amount of people cutting open the horse and poking it until it bleeds. It kinda feels like a Saw movie to be quite honest. They also decided to use some sort of Horse Dildo that they put inside of the horse’s ass and/or vagina? I’m lost and afraid.

This older gentleman who resembles Cao Boi from Survivor is mad at the Horse Master. I can only assume it’s because he tackled a live horse like a true psychopath. There are very strange subtitles at the bottom of the screen that I don’t understand.

From what I’m understanding, the Horse Master is just a young scholarly fellow who wants to be a pharmacist or something. The Horse Master is just outside of the Royal Pharmacy and his dad is giving him an extremely emotional speech. The Horse Master is now crying like a child. Super upsetting behavior to be honest folks.

Inside of the Royal Pharmacy there is some sort of ritual going on where flower petals somehow are just blowing in the wind out of nowhere. The Horse Master seems hopeful but timid. He doesn’t know about the suffers of the Royal Pharmacy yet. But he’ll learn. Boy will he ever learn.

Some of the students seem extremely upset that there are horse doctors in the pharmacy school. It seems to me the Horse Master is gonna have to become the Ass Blaster soon folks.

The Horse Boy wants to go to the library to study I guess, and a royal doctor approaches him and teaches him how to beat the guards. Apparently if the guards catch them they cut their heads off. This show is basically Legends of the Hidden Temple. With way less-scary guards. These guards just have like sticks with fabric attached. I could overpower these guards. They make their way along past the awful guards and into the library. In the library the royal doctor reveals who he is and the Horse Master is extremely excited. They find a royal nurse in the library practicing acupuncture on a dummy. I think they’re impressed?

The Horse Master at this point seems like he wants to jack off. He instead knocks something off a table. The nurse is alerted to their presence. The royal doctor grabs her, and hides her because he hears the king or whatever approaching the library door. The king or whatever comes in and quickly leaves. Before they can properly introduce themselves, they hear guards approaching. So they start pulling out what looks like weed and lighting it on fire to distract the guards. It somehow works!!!! They escape the library at light-speed.

After their escape, we’re quickly finding out that the horse master is actually a little scared bitch. The royal doctor is the man, however. The nurse is so far, very neutral.

The episode kind of hits a little montage that results in them all being official pharmacists. I guess they graduated? It all happened very fast.

There’s suddenly ninjas kidnapping characters I’ve never seen before. The ninjas are fighting the town guards and I’m so confused I need to see a doctor. A horse doctor, specifically. They took two of their kidnap victims into a cave of some sort to conduct medical experiments on them. One of them somehow died by being poked with a needle. The ninjas are not playing any games. But while they’re focusing on killing the one victim, the other somehow escapes.

Two people are back in the town discussing the return of someone who was being held hostage in China for some reason. I think she’s a princess. They chant “your highness!” as she walks by them. She then passes out at lunch or whatever. The royal doctor is there and says “I still have some knowledge” and fixes her by putting a needle in her hand, which is how everything is fixed or ruined in this show.

I think after saving the princess, the prince offered the doctor some books. They then were having a discussion of how the doctor wants to live his life, and avoiding being killed by guards. This whole town is insanely fucked up.

The doctor gets a letter from someone or other indicating that “Your Highness is sick”. I have no idea who “Your Highness” is, and I’m very confused over the hierarchy more than anything. They’re on a boat and a woman seems very sick, so the doctor asks if she needs help, her husband says “mind your own business.” What a dick-head, that guy.

I’m once again very confused. They’re arrived at their destination but the doctor seems upset because I guess “your highness” has malaria. It seems as if he doesn’t know how to take care of someone with malaria. Which, why would you even be a doctor if you’re afraid of a little bit of malaria?

Flashback to the pregnant woman. She’s next to dead! Surprise! Maybe you shouldn’t be a dick to the doctor, who is clearly the man in charge in this program. It turns out the escaped man from the ninjas is the guy who has a pregnant wife. He sees the evil ninja doctor and hides. Right outside of the good doctors home. Since his wife is dying he now has to go under the care of the legit royal doctor.

An aside: doctors in Korea wear the most ridiculous hats I’ve ever seen. Why are they wearing these damn stupid hats?

The crew is now trying to figure out if they can catch the evil doctor practicing his evil healthcare traditions. The evil doctor caught the horse master and seemed as if he was going to cast an extremely evil spell upon him, to banish him to the ominous shadow realm. Who’s to say, really?

He’s captured and put in front of the King. The King is running this entire dark magic organization. They want to kill the horse master in front of the entire town. They decide instead that they’re going to frame the royal doctor for treason somehow or another? I’m once again, extremely confused. The King wants his son dead I believe? It’s all in Korean God’s hands now.

The episode comes to an end with the Korean soldiers marching upon the royal doctor (Kang Dojun’s) home. They captured him and will try him for treason. They will kill him. They will also kill the baby he helped give birth to, as the baby was a boy to a family of traitors.

This show is fucking dark, mate.