Being the partner of a startup founder is not glamorous. While there are many accounts of how tough it is to cope financially, few talk about the emotional toll of being in a relationship with a seriously ambitious individual. Below I candidly share the biggest emotional challenges involved in being a Startup Spouse:

1. You will never win against the startup, because that is not their job, it is their life. Don’t even try to make them choose.
2. It can feel like they’re having an affair. But with their startup.
3. They rarely believe in the word compromise. So they fail to see the many compromises their spouse is making for them to pursue their ambition.
4. They have vision, they see the potential for improvement in everything. Including themselves. And you. They will try to make you change and this is exhausting.
5. They see themselves an individual first, team second so expect them to make plenty of unilateral decisions. While these may start small, like suddenly announcing at a dinner party that you have a cab waiting outside, be careful to not let them grow into bigger decisions.
6. The first taste of success can be dangerous. They can loose their humility. This arrogance can then creep into your relationship when you find your opinions being bulldozed or simply not even sought.
7. Your confidence can suffer as their’s grows.
8. Pride comes before a fall. Be prepared to pick up the pieces.

Next time you see a founder, struggling or successful, think about their partner behind the scenes and wish them well. These are brave men and women who are fierce and intelligent in their own right. But man, do they have a lot of shit to deal with.