6 Heart-Centered Ways to Make the Planet Better

After reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s Facebook post which I shared here on the blog, I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships, vulnerability, and interdependence — and what that means for the new age we’re living in. This morning I read something from Dr. Bruce Perry (shared at the bottom of this post) and, as it so inspired me, I want to share my thoughts in concert with both these posts.

Bottom line: WE NEED EACH OTHER. Let’s build our friendships, romances, and business relationships with the highest level of honesty, tenderness, compassion, and courage.

The thing is, it takes GUTS to admit that we can’t subsist on our own. Honestly, I don’t believe the pop-spirituality that we are our own self-contained source and everything we need “is inside us.” We need the full range of human experience which includes — yes, a deep knowledge and respect of one’s self — but also: love from other people, human touch, connection with art/philosophy/spirit (pick your fave) and, dare I say, the pains, losses, disappointments that comes along with all.

I also do not believe that you can’t love others until you love yourself. That is a falsehood proven by the fact that we are still here as a human race, even though generations of people didn’t necessarily know how to “love themselves” properly up until 2012 when we started talking about it.

What I DO believe is that we are entering a new age, which has come about as impartially as the sun rising every morning. At first there was the beginning of time, and those “Dark Ages” were reflected in the minds of people. And then the dawn of understanding started to rise, and those dear minds and hearts expanded on par with what was possible for the times.

Now here we are, transiting into the yawning expanse of high noon, and we are being stretched to a more enlightened state.


Our minds, along with our kids’ minds, are requiring an expanded OS — one that loves and respects the relationship of “ourselves as others,” and is cool with the fact that our generation is going to INVEST in the future by bearing the growing pains of building this bridge.

This is the bridge that spans the centuries-old plateau of radical self-reliance/separatism to a connected, global community of cooperation, oneness, and unified humanity. This transformation is marked by vulnerability (as Brene Brown so beautifully speaks of), vision, honesty, and living our lives as a contribution for this present moment and for future generations. We must be willing to accept that we need each other, and to give our hearts without reserve, even if it means we will suffer pain or loss.


1. Have the courage to operate in your gifts, in full power, every day.

For some that will mean leaving “secure” jobs to start their own business. Some will stay in their corporate job and transform the very foundations, attitudes, and protocols of the 9–5 culture. Some will start a volunteer service or non-profit on the side. And for others this will mean playing your music, doing your art, and using your time to bring beauty in to the world. Paradoxically, we will be able to release ourselves from the particle-heaviness of time, and yet time will have a previously-unknown preciousness to us.

2. Stop staying in/putting up with a relationship that doesn’t work.

If the person isn’t right for you, you need to set them free (and yourself) and find partnership with someone who is on the same page with you. And yes, this may require you walk the path alone for a while and grow. In the past, we partnered up for socio-economic reasons. Partnerships today are being formed for mutual edification and contribution, whether they be business, social, or romantic. The future generations of families, societies, positive world development, life-changing inventions, technology, etc. depend upon our partnering in healthy relationships TODAY.

3. When you read or watch something that nourishes you (books, movies, blog posts, YouTube videos), have a mind to share your knowledge with someone else.

You will probably have to stop multi-tasking so you can be present and really glean from what you’re taking in. But go above “basic consumption” and share what you know with the people in your life. We are all teachers now.

4. When you see something wrong or evil, speak up.

REALLY speak up. Say something, do something, and be such a strong presence that that wrong/ignorant force can no longer survive and propigate.

5. Figure out what your beliefs are about art/poetry/philosophy/spirituality.

Don’t be content to throw up your hands and go “Uhhh I don’t know….it’s all unknowable” and then hashtag #angels #miracles on your rainbow pictures. Get to know what etheric force lights you up and makes you inspired. This might be different for everyone, but it’s part of our human obligation to know what we think/feel/believe about the poetry and life force of material things.

6. Wanting to feel appreciated by others is healthy. Expecting equal reciprocity from everyone you’re involved with is insanity.

Very rarely do we ever have reciprocal exchanges and THAT’S OKAY. Just trust the process. We give over *here* and we receive over *there*. Believe in the abundance and equality of the resources surrounding you; give and take with balance and awareness.

Just a word of warning: Be careful how much you’re giving over *here* (drained? exhausted? frustrated? and bitching about it?) and taking over *there* (well, I’m drained, exhausted, and frustrated. I’m going to eat/spend/bitch to my friend for 2 hours). Be aware and be balanced.

We are in one of the most spectacular and crucial transitions in history. We’ve got to “hold the gap” while our fellow humans all get on board. Are you willing to be a legacy maker and do this?

Dr. Perry’s quote:

“For years mental health professionals taught people that they could be psychologically healthy without social support, that “unless you love yourself, no one else will love you.” Women were told that they didn’t need men, and vice versa. People without any relationships were believed to be as healthy as those who had many. These ideas contradict the fundamental biology of human species: we are social mammals and could never have survived without deeply interconnected and interdependent human contact. The truth is, you cannot love yourself unless you have been loved and are loved. The capacity to love cannot be built in isolation.
 -Bruce D. Perry, M.D., The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist’s Notebook

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Are you into stuff like this? I write about modern spirituality, love, communication, generosity, and how to run a sustainable small business (while keeping your sanity). Put yourself on the list and you’ll never miss and article or a workshop. xo

Originally published at stephaniestclaire.com.