Finding inconsistency in your ecosystem of life and work.

Contemplating what “inconsistency” feels like and means to help navigate the hats you wear.

Inconsistency is defined as this fragmented state of being. That you’re broken if you’re inconsistent. Consistency is stable and firm and reliable. But how different would we feel if we embraced inconsistency in both our personal and our work lives?

Consistent vs. inconsistent.

As I explored in a post last month about finding wholeness, the idea of something — whatever value you’re looking at — will differ according to so many circumstances. I think I want to preface this whole thought essay with stating that inconsistency — or at least an ability to have inconsistency — is perhaps a privilege. Having space to be flexible, cyclical, scattered, dreamy… can only come from having some sort of consistency elsewhere, be that money or familial support or a shelter. It comes down to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, doesn’t it, like with creativity, that we can only address this more variable state of being if we’ve got the groundwork covered.

We can only consider inconsistency if we consider consistency. They’re opposing and yet intertwined. I think that if we didn’t have any consistency anywhere, we’d feel constantly in fight or flight mode. As someone suggested in our Wild Work Collective session when discussing this theme, consistency is comforting. I’d for sure feel more discombobulated if I didn’t have anything consistent — and therefore stable — in my life. For me it’s having a consistent actually-employed role as a food grower, where two days a week I go somewhere and I’m essentially guaranteed 16 hours of paid work per week. Because I have this, I can put energy into the inconsistency of experimenting with a business.

I’m also in receipt of Universal Credit. I don’t know how much I’ll receive each month because it depends on how much other freelance work I get, and whether I’ve been able to work more in the food growing job. But generally, it’s a back up. Finances are definitely a requirement in feeling comfortable, and feeling able to then be free elsewhere. Is inconsistency actually spontaneity? Exploration?

If I worked in an office, I’d have that stability of going somewhere. Needing to be in a place and show up. The garden I work in is that place, and my team are the ones I show up for, and ultimately want to show up for. I really don’t like feel scatty or unreliable when it comes to others. I hate saying I’ll do something and then I don’t. But when it comes to the goals I set myself, well, frankly, I don’t set myself goals because I won’t stick to them. I think I know I’m inconsistent (and can afford myself the inconsistency) so goal-setting is unrealistic. Yet, in other scenarios I do want to the be the reliable person that others can come to. That also, unfortunately, leads to being the person that’ll tidy up after others, that’ll take on all the tasks, that’ll always be on the go.

The flow of water over boulders in a river bed. Water is consistent in the path it’ll take, and yet appears to be free. [Credit: Kazuend on Unsplash]

Business inconsistency.

So I have employment, some back up funds, I have shelter; and if the first two failed then I’d have to change the type of home, but I’d still have the support of family, or otherwise close friends. These are my aspects of stability. When it comes to self-employment or life as a business owner, I do feel that I should be more consistent in some areas, yet still happy to embrace inconsistency for the time being in other areas.

Each season of the Wild Work Collective (and in fact any offering from The Wild Academy), there is focus on one of their WILD principles: Whole, Inconsistent, Loving, Diverse. This term it’s inconsistency, and we’re currently in a community co-working session as I write this, with me attempting to gather reflections on this theme. As always in these so-called waymarker sessions, we’re establishing where we are now, in order to address the theme further as the term goes on. We were asked various prompts.

→ In what ways do you feel you should be consistent? For me this is messaging, values, and showing up for other work and other people.

→ In what ways do you want to be consistent? Same, it was messaging and values and showing up, but additionally in branding. I want people to know what they’re getting from me, even if it’s saying upfront that I’m slightly scattered and experimental, though will be reliable in certain ways.

→ In what ways are you naturally inconsistent, and how do they feel? I wrote that my energy levels are inconsistent, and that’s annoying. Unfortunately I can’t do much about this, at least in part — I have hormones, I’m attuned to cycles, I sometimes eat bad stuff, I like coffee, there are disruptions elsewhere. But my making creative stuff is also naturally inconsistent — because it’s organic, iterative, experimental — and that feels good. This is the element of myself that I’m very happy to keep sporadic, because actually, it’s consistently authentic. It appears to be inventive, and that’s how I want it to come across. Though I don’t set boundaries on what the outcome will be, don’t set timelines, don’t particularly design in the traditional sense.

→ What beliefs or stories do you hold about inconsistency? That I appear scatty, unreliable, flaky.

→ What challenges do you face in relation to inconsistency? That I’m not getting stuff done I want to get done, that I don’t have flow across the board, that my time isn’t used efficiently.

→ How could embracing inconsistency nourish and support you? Creative freedom does nurture my being, but my space is consistently messy and so I can’t get in the headspace (or physical space) to be creative. I want to continue being openly reflective with my writing, but the thoughts mount up, I feel full, and then I feel stuck. These are the facets of my business that I’m ok with not having too much structure around, because this slots in with energy levels and other commitments, and they’re the areas where I feel as relaxed and free as I can be. There are no deadlines as such, no one holding me to account. However, if I were to take the business seriously — i.e. hosting a membership, frequent fashion product drops — then I’d need to have deadlines and be held accountable, so then would I feel as nurtured, would I feel as inconsistent and therefore creatively free?

Some things are best conducted with guidelines and frameworks, but you need to be agile and resilient to changing conditions; just like when sowing seeds.

Personal inconsistency.

Where I am currently with my business and lifestyle and location, inconsistency is just par for the course. Is it cringe to say that London-life just marries with being inconsistent, because there are so many options and opportunities to be spontaneous and agile to the surroundings? And being a designer too, or whatever function I give myself (communicator, maker, educator); you need to have some semblance of assertion that things simply won’t go to plan.

Actually, this was also mentioned in the session. How we can feel stressed when unexpected stuff arises, that we can’t quite compute and so we flee. That fight or flight response comes up often — and in fact, my new massage therapist during a session yesterday said she could feel how I’m always in that activated “on the go” state. I want to relax and be easy breezy, but that’s apparently just not how I’m wired to be.

So, it’s back to the holding of both consistency and inconsistency simultaneously; if we’re to navigate the latter then we need to navigate the former. We need to hold both an ability to be stable and firm, while being open to possibilities and potential “failure”. I’m reminded of the Barbie monologue right now, about how we need to be everything…

And, of course, if we’re navigating inconsistency for ourself, then we need to be able to hold it for others. We can’t expect our people to show up the same all the time, if we’re not holding that as a need or value for ourselves. Why should or do we expect them to always be there, to be a certain way? We return to the Hierarchy of Needs; that perhaps the consistency of human (or animal) support gives us an emotional benchmark, and so if that drifts in some way, it upsets our balance. We expect from others what is usually impossible, and instead, we have to be able to ebb and flow with others. That’s at work in the office, at home with whoever you live with, in the coffee shop and shopping centre.

Simply put, we’re human. We navigate inconsistency by remembering and reminding ourselves that there are so many factors and facets that make up who we are. Today I’m perhaps a little less focused than I was yesterday, but I’m still showing up in the way that works. Even though you’re reading or listening to this after the fact, and actually you have no way to corroborate my feelings, I’m authentically telling you right here that I am here. It’s not who I was yesterday, and it’s not who I’ll be tomorrow. I wear different hats; I’m affected by the weather, by my sleep, by my food; I have different tasks to do and places to be; I’ve got different folk to interact with.

Ok, so what’s the conclusion.

Literal tools of navigation, compasses and maps help ground you and yet if you don’t know how to use them, they’re totally pointless! This is a recent navigation and map reading course to help put into practice some theoretical knowledge.

Conclusion.

The question at the start was:

“how different would we feel if we embraced inconsistency in both our personal and our work lives?”

So first up, in order to even assess if you’d feel different, you need to ascertain how you feel now. Would you describe yourself as inconsistent or consistent? What areas are inconsistent and which are consistent? Would inconsistency fit in any fragment of your personal or work life? Or actually, are you incredibly consistent and that just makes sense for you so why change it?

Then when you’ve established your positioning, you can address what “different” would be, and if that feels more or less useful for where you are now. Realistically, you need to consider this on multiple days, at varying times, in different spots; our surroundings and circumstances are always going to eke in. So, is the answer then, to embrace inconsistency you need to embrace inconsistency?

I’ll leave that with you.

If you want to embrace your wild self, and lean into this more nature-led way of working and being, perhaps you may like The Wild Academy’s free session on Wednesday 17th April on Reclaiming the Wild Self.

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Stephanie Steele is the founder of Steele Studio, a space that educates everyday folk on the interconnectedness of our food, fibre and fashion systems through community courses and workshops. As an organic food grower and textiles sustainability specialist, she otherwise writes about art, textiles, plants, running and systems design.

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