My Closest Relationship is a Lot Like Yours
I bet my closest relationship is a lot like yours. We sleep side by side each night. The book ends on either side of my dreams. Glued at the hip some would say. We check in at least a few times a day (or, okay, every chance we get).
The connection is kind of mind boggling, until the rare moments when it drops off, but it usually bounces right back. Whenever I ask a question, I know I’ll always get an answer, or at least a solid try. Sometimes we have miscommunications because we process things a lot differently, but it’s part of what I like most about our yin-yang connection.
Of course there was this one time when things were too heated, and would you believe my partner just shut down? 100% unresponsive. Okay, there were some warning signs, but I felt fine and thought we could acknowledge it and carry on with our relationship. Maybe I should have known better than to push his buttons, but damn it, I didn’t want to say “goodbye” or take a break when I thought he would cool down. Then it just got to be too much, and like a switch… off. Stopped all communication, and all I could do was wait for the inevitable return.
We came back from that summer day incident, but every now and then I can sense it happening again and know that some time a apart is healthier in the long run.
We’ve been through a lot, and I admit I feel protective, even though it’s probably more accurate to refer to my partner as my protector, commonly rescuing me from uncomfortable silences or unproductive moments. The one I chat with while waiting in line at the grocery store. The one I can trust to track the mileage when we go on runs together (so analytical and organized). Things are good, great even. But I can barely remember how life was before we essentially became one.
Sometimes I just want a day away though, ya know? Occasionally, it’s planned out, and it happens. I may go on a hike with the girls, or spend some time with my family and can almost recall when we weren’t an item. A much simpler time, indeed. I get comfortable, and even satisfied with a more solitary, independent way of life. Maybe it’ll stick, maybe I can just leave, and be my own person again. Just as quickly as that thought enters my mind it’s quickly dismissed with a nervous laugh. I’m stuck, and I love it.
We’re inseparable most of the time, but it makes logical sense. All I need is a few too many moments alone to fully appreciate the connection. Never mind the incessant neediness tinged with apathy I feel during most of our time together. It’s comforting just having my partner physically present… in my purse, or on my desk, readily available whenever needed. It’s nice to be so close and not have anything expected of me in return. And if things don’t work out, it’s not exactly frowned upon to move on and upgrade. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
This story can also be found on my FanBread page.
