Hope

What does hope mean to me?

Hope is believing that my expectations for the future are going to actually happen. Hope is a longing for the future to go according to my desires. Hope is also my future placed in the Lord’s hands.

Like gasoline is fuel for a car, hope is the fuel that empowers me to live. Without hope my engine starts to sputter and my life stalls. Without hope I lose the expectations of a satisfactory future. Without hope I lose the belief that my future will align with my desires. Without hope I attempt to wrestle my future away, although ultimately in vain, from the Lord.

My story with hope ebbs and flows. Late in high school I lost hope in my future. Depression had overtaken me as a senior and through my freshman year in college. I was on empty and I was motionless—and largely emotionless. Then hope returned. There was vitality to my life, goals seemed achievable, progress brought about by refreshing yet hard work. When college concluded I moved to Boston where I didn’t know anyone. Again feelings of hopelessness came over me as life was all work and no play.

Five months into my stay in Boston I connected with an amazing group of people at Park Street Church and hope returned. It was a time of tremendous energy and growth for me intellectually, relationally, and spiritually. I would meet Bridget, my now late-wife, and my hopes for my future felt secure. We moved to Portland after 4 years of marriage and 18 months later she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She was pregnant and would die 3-months later.

As I reflect on my experiences with hope, I have come to the following truths. I would welcome your comments and additions to them.

My truisms about hope:

Hope Makes You Vulnerable

To have hope in something, anything, you are exposed. The hope you hold for a future outcome might not come to be. Somethings we hope for are more trivial, like a fresh scratch-off lottery ticket. Other hopes are vital and become deeply intertwined with our emotions. This hope can walk us out on a plank trusting that by the time you reach the end of the plank, there is a bridge to the other side or a net to catch your fall. As you walk out on the plank in hope, you don’t know what is next.

The husband, in order to cope with the cancer diagnosis for his wife, puts all his hope in the doctors and modern medicine to eradicate the cancerous cells from her body. The child hopes that her mom finally divorces the step-father that is abusing her. The murderer places his hope in Jesus for salvation. The unemployed hopes for an interview. The more you hope the more vulnerable you are.

The more you hope the more vulnerable you are.

Hope Is Light

When hopeless your emotions are dark. Like black paint you absorb everything. Each breath continues the belief that there is nothing that will be illuminated in your future.

Hope is that beam of light. Like the light that flows into a dark room as the curtains are pulled back from the window. The light shines into the darkness of your soul and brings new context—light overcomes the darkness and redefines the suppositions held when in the dark.

Hope Is a Periscope

A submarine traveling in murky water can’t see where to go. The submarine passenger looks out the window and can’t see what might be in their path. Similarly, the person without hope cannot see a path before them towards hopefulness because they are caught in the murky waters of hopelessness. Hope is like a periscope. It reaches above the murky water into the sky where a clearer view of the future is available.

Hope provides this clearer view. Hope does not assure an outcome. But without a clear view—without hope—it is nearly impossible to achieve what it is you hope for.

Hope Is Fuel

Humans are designed to be dynamic—to change, to grow, and to achieve. Hope is the fuel that powers human thought and emotion. Hope inspired Ferdinand Magellan as he and his team circumnavigated the Earth. Hope sustained Nelson Mandela as he was incarcerated for nearly 30 years. Hope is rebuilding New Orleans after hurricane Katrina. Hope is why we give to others and to causes.

If we lose hope we become inert. We are not inspired towards embarking into the unknowns of life, but retreat to the comforts of a dark room, or even death. Without hope we can not sustain, we can not rebuild, and we can not give.

I can think of the hope I have for salvation, for my children, for my relationships, for the causes I am passionate about, etc.

How are you fueled by your hope?

Hope Ebbs and Flows

Our hope is not a constant. It rises, it falls, it ebbs, and it flows.

A child dies in her dad’s arms and all hope is lost. The manager selects another candidate for the position and hope for meals at the dinner table are dashed. Your doctor informs you that your infertile and years of hoping to become pregnant evaporate in an instance. The mistress shows up at a family vacation and you realize there is no hope for your marriage. Alcohol and drugs comfort your child leaving you hopeless.

All the while, there are other examples of hope realized for others. Many of which seem to come to fruition at their slightest desire. For those that live a “charmed life.”

Often this contrast weighs on the hopeless. It pulls the curtains shut on any hope and brings them into deeper darkness and despair.

Hope is from God

I believe that hope is from an all-knowing, all-powerful, loving God. If that is your belief too, then our future is divine. What we hope for might, or might not, align with God’s plan for our future. If we believe that God is loving, then we must believe that while we might suffer temporary emotional or physical pain, this pain is a refining pain. This pain is an edifying pain. Undoubtedly along life’s path we will suffer pain. However, many hopes might be realized without pain. Then our response should be gratitude as we surely don’t deserve what we hope for. We are grateful because our realized hope was paid for by God.

So, when things don’t go according to my plans, I can still rejoice. I can rejoice in believing that God is in fact in control. I can rejoice knowing that God is altering my life away from my invariably failed plan toward His perfect plan.

I think of my late-wife’s favorite verse—the verse on her gravestone—which reads:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11