Mindfulness for the Elite, Part 1.

Everest, 2017

The first qualification of a general is a cool head. — Napoleon

First off, the way that I’m writing this is on purpose. You can read a million books on mindfulness, and there are some good ones, but they don’t always directly relate to the person reading them.

Everyone that follows me has some sort of connection to me; most of us are on the same level. We want data and we want facts, but we also want a bare bones approach on how to put those tactics into practice. The self help and even “zen” industry are full of fluff that serve the people who follow me no purpose.

Thats why I’m writing this. We need a guide for the elite. This is part one.

Awareness

The definition of mindfulness is to be aware. Read every book you want but thats it. The problem is most of us are not aware of what is going on inside our heads. During our day we have a constant narrative of topics that do not go away. They don’t go away because the minute they would we feel our guard is down and they win; but there is a problem with that mindset.

The narrative

They say that you can’t outrun a bad diet, well you can’t outthink a shitty situation either. Look back at a time where everything was going to shit, did you actually “fix” the situation with constant thinking? Nope. I’m not saying be passive, I’m not saying don’t prepare; I’m saying think and prepare up until the point where thinking isn’t serving a purpose anymore.

I can’t tell you how many times I had a narrative running in my head that repeated itself six times in the span of a day. When the day ends I still have the same set of data and the same conclusions, but the narrative is still going. You feel like you ran a mental marathon, but besides the plan that was already produced hours ago, its just a waste of energy. Think about that — what is actually the point of ruminating on thoughts PAST a certain point? It accomplishes nothing but a waste of time and energy, let alone the health consequences of always being in your own head. Gather information and “point” things in the right direction to make an assessment without a reaction.

Training

The first part of retraining your awareness and becoming more mindful is noticing that these things occur. There is no secret fix to any mental training or mental issues; you have to stare at them, look at them, not accept them, see them, and feel the pain. Feel the shit that comes with them, instead of spending all day avoiding them.

Thats why this is mindfulness for the elite; we are not here to “check out” these thoughts, we are going to stare at them and tell them “hey you can stick around but don’t cross this line.” Its training. You can’t control every thought that pops in your head, but once they do you can interact with them, which takes away their power. Awareness gives us this power.

You also have to train to create “mind gaps,” meaning gaps in your constant loop of thoughts so your brain gets used to stopping them on command. I have used this more than once. Just stop for a moment, pick a point on the wall and just look at it. Don’t try to do anything besides breath in deep and let it out. If you breath in slowly, the top of the breath should have a natural pause that can slow the mind. Focus on that for a second. You just created a gap, and your mind is now being trained to slow down on demand.

Threats

Anxiety occurs because our brain and body give us hints about an incoming threat; the problem is most are not threats at all. But how do you know that? From awareness. From zooming out and looking at your thoughts from a non-emotional perspective. Look at the battlefield. See your enemy.

Think about it, if you had elite awareness anything that pops in your head would be fact checked on the spot. What is this thought? Why is it there? Does this thought really “make” me, or is it just a thought? In other words, don’t identify with every damn thought that pops in your head. The mindfulness argument would be all that we have is this moment, nothing else, so sitting there and becoming your thoughts serves zero purpose. Thoughts are just that — thoughts. They come and go.

Look at it like a robot. A robot has a car, the car takes a shit. The robot has no money to fix the car, but he needs a car. He will immediately come up with solutions, even if there aren’t many. He will execute what he can and leave the rest (that is out of his control) up to the professionals. There is literally nothing else he can do besides what he can do. He calls a tow truck and goes home. He calls the mechanic the next morning and they say they will update him in a few days. The robot hangs up the phone and goes about his life until they call. Nothing else exists besides the data he has, and the data says to wait. The elite, like robots, can wait all day. Doesn’t mean shit to them. Discipline.

If a human had that happen? Lets just say it wouldn’t go the same way. We would blame the world, we would question the car manufacturer, we would bitch about the tow truck bill and then complain that the mechanic hasn’t called us in five hours. Why do we do this? Because we have no awareness and no idea of what we can and cannot control. We also think that we are special, that life should happen to everyone else except us. Wrong answer.

The space

We encounter a stressor and forget that there is a space between the incident and reaction that we control. Depending on what happens in this space will determine our perception and perception is the only thing thats real. But naturally that space is full of emotion and lack of awareness. Mindfulness trains us to stop and step back; think before reacting. Our brains have been trained the wrong way for years. We are trained to emotionally react to most things instead of stopping and controlling what we can in the moment.

This shit training has produced pathways in our brains that are bigger than the awareness pathways. But every time you stop and don’t react, you build a pathway that benefits you, that shows you there is a such thing as not losing your damn mind in an already shitty situation. I will say it again — we have to train ourselves and its not easy, but you can do it with practice.

Its your operating system

People with an alpha or elite mindset like details. Mindfulness trains you to stare at the details, but not be affected by them. You’re noticing every part of your thoughts or situation, but you don’t make them part of yourself unless you want to. Its like multi tasking on an operating system — you’re swiping up to shit that you don’t want in your mind. Close it out, you don’t need it. The more you swipe up the more real control you have.

Sit down and close your eyes. Take all of your thoughts and put them up on your mental screen. Look at them from a distance, like you are in a movie theatre watching them. Picture yourself crumpling them up and throwing them away, or swiping them up like a cell phone. Watch them disappear. Use that moment of clarity to take a breath. Most can’t do this. Build those pathways.

Letting go is bullshit

Now we are at the concept of “letting go,” as they say in the self help field. Heres the problem; letting go can turn into ignoring and ignoring is the main reason we have anxiety. When thoughts hit our brain and we act like they aren’t there, they keep coming at up until we listen. The minute we listen and stare at them they lose most of their power. This doesnt mean you acknowledge all thoughts and they just disappear; this means facing them gives you control over them. You see them now, no more bullshit.

Dont look at your thoughts as letting go, look at it as being realistic to the fact that they are there, being aware of them, but not becoming them. Gather the intelligence you can from them and let them hang out. Eventually they will go away. Why wouldn’t they? They don’t serve a purpose anymore; you have already used them.

Don’t identify

There is a chapter in the book “Daily Zen” by Charlie Amber that says, “Identify with nothing.” If that isn’t one of the smartest things I’ve ever heard I don’t know what is. Again, lets think about this, why am I going to identify with all the shit in my brain when 90% of it is garbage? How about we stop identifying with thoughts and actually do something about them; like be aware of them and use them to our advantage. What the hell do we care about all of these thoughts in our head? We are doing; we aren’t sitting around being controlled by every electrical impulse in our heads. If you owned a piece of land wouldn’t you monitor what happens on it? Same with your brain. Be aware of it, be mindful of it, but don’t attach to all of it.

Be stoic

The next issue we have are people reading this who think if they are all “zen” and disengaged then they will lose their edge or miss an opportunity. There is an easy answer to that question — its called being stoic which is just another form of extreme awareness.

Look at mindfulness and look at stoicism. They were born from the same concepts. You could argue stoicism is the buddhism for the elite. Look at the famous stoic philosophers, most were successful in everything they did.

Buddhism and mindfulness preach non-attachment because that leads to suffering, stoicism preaches knowing whats in or out of your control and don’t let your emotions run your life.

The elite use these tools together in that space between an incident and a reaction.

Mindfullness zooms us out, allows us to look at what just happened. Stoicism allows us to analyze what is in our control and what is not, combined with what we can do about it. Anything beyond that is wasted energy and serves no purpose.

I had a stoic friend tell me once, he said, “You can have emotions all you want, but don’t let emotions be the sole purpose for making any decision.” We make decisions when we react, you have to use these tools before that reaction so everything stays in line instead of spinning out of control. An incident happens and emotions control that reaction space; they win most of the time. Don’t let them win. Zoom out and stare at the problem, let emotion wait until you need it. Then make a decision. Analyze with detachment.

Its not easy

Viktor Frankl, in his book “Mans search for meaning,” about his time in a concentration camp wrote, “Emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we form a clear and precise picture of it.” That is mindfulness, that is awareness. Pulling back, creating a realistic picture of the situation, then using it to our advantage. Frankl was elite.

Next time something comes up do not immediately react to it. Notice it, detach from it, analyze it, then reconnect and make a decision. Tell your emotions to fuck off, you will use them later if you need to.

Mindfulness is nothing special but its not always easy to do. To start your training, go outside and sit in a chair, get some Vitamin D. Listen to everything around you, and listen to your breath. Picture yourself on the front line waiting for the enemy to come running over the hill. Detach. Like you’re floating above the battlefield. Listen to what is going on around you but try not to connect to any of it. Just be there. If your mind wanders too much, concentrate on your breath, reach that high point, feel it, and let it out. Do that starting at 5 minutes and work your way up. A deep breath in any moment with a pause and slow let out can active your parasympathetic nervous system, which is involved when our body is at rest, and provides relief. A tool. Use it.

Everyone on twitter talks about control. Real control is selectivity reacting with a constant awareness of whats going on around you. Be the guy in the meeting that sits straight up, stares ahead, and looks like he could stay there all day. Train in mindfulness, train in awareness. Be elite.

Wild animals run from the dangers they actually see, and once they have escaped them worry no more. We however are tormented alike by what is past and what is to come. A number of our blessings do us harm, for memory brings back the agony of fear while foresight brings it on prematurely. No one confines his unhappiness to the present. — Seneca, Letters from a Stoic