I’m personally not healing. I have complex PTSD, MDD, GAD, and BPD. I don’t have the support I need. I’ve never lived in a healthy environment. I’ve had so much toxicity in my life. I never knew what was right, healthy, appropriate, ‘safe’, acceptable, or what true consent meant. I got hurt a lot. I’ve been assaulted and harassed a lot. I’ve been emotionally abused, mentally abused, sexually abused. I didn’t know what was “normal” because things were the same all of my life and because the stories of these experiences started with all of my girl friends in middle school. Every. Single. One.
It hurts a lot, it’s probably going to keep hurting, but I really needed this article. And I’m sharing it as far as I can. Thank you for sharing this deeply personal and intense reality, your experiences.
I do want to say: 1. Many of us do change to some extent or even greatly, especially if we’re multiple-time victims. 2. It’s okay to be broken. It’s okay to be not okay. It’s okay to deal with, experience, feel about, think about your trauma in different ways. ❤