Day 149 — Opening of the Heart

Today I woke up at 3:47 AM. I think I passed out last night while meditating for 42 minutes, after I finished 26 minutes of chanting Hare Krishna and laid on my back. It’s odd because when I woke up, I checked my alarms and they were all on. These alarms have to be turned on by myself before going to bed. So it’s possible I finished meditating and then set the alarms, and then fell asleep. Yet the way I felt asleep was odd, without blankets, I remember wanting to rest that way for the majority of the night, because I’ve been working outside and I’m getting used to the cold. Adding a blanket over my furnace of a body seemed like it would be too warm.

After waking I meditated for 21 minutes, then I went back to sleep for an hour. I thought there would be a lot of snow, so I woke up to clear the walkway, but after seeing that it wasn’t all that bad I went back to bed for another 50 minutes. Then I went to work, which was interesting in weather below freezing. Work was tough I think, not on my mind, but on by body. When I got home and took a shower I could feel my face unfreezing, and the resting face it fell into was one which worried me. It was a sad face. I’m not sure why I was sad, looking into the tile. I haven’t felt that in a long time actually. As I write this I remember that most suicides take place around Christmas and New Year’s. I can see why. I chalked it up to a day in the making, it hadn’t gotten all that great for a variety of reasons, yet I figured to let it do its thing.

Later on when I got home I found out my friend quit their job, which is great news for them considering that it may have been hurting their health. They told me it’s the winter solstice today, and I said no it’s on Saturday. I had planned to meditate and have special time set aside for myself on this day, and it turns out the solstice is today and not on Saturday. I thought it was on Saturday because that’s when Alex Grey and the people at CoSM celebrate the winter solstice, most likely because it’s easier for people to travel to upstate New York during a weekend rather than the week. I remembered that this isn’t the first time the celebration of a celestial event on a CoSM based date became embedded in my mind as the actual celestial event. That’s an interesting phenomena.

At around 6 PM or so I received a package from my family which I unpacked and unpacked, there was so much bubble wrap I thought it would be funny if I kept digging and found nothing. Instead, I found a double Native American flute, one is a drone and one is a flute, made by High Spirits, which is the same company that made my other Native American flute. I was enthralled by it and played it without listening, as I once did many months ago in the beginning of this year, when I began to play this type of a flute.

My fingernails touched the surface once or twice and I was worried I would ruin its flawless surface. Then I noticed extremely fine dents in the surface and became worried! I’ve only had it for a few minutes and I’m already making permanent marks upon it! Then I figured to relax, and that my other flute had been dropped onto the ground twice and nothing bad happened to it, even though the one before it got shut in a door and broke, which I ended up burning in the embers of a fire that my family had made at the new house which we’d moved into months ago, prior to me moving out. So here I am, looking at this flute, and I accepted its imperfections, because I realized that even though my fingernails had touched the surface twice, there was no way my nails could have caused those marks, or the many others on the flute.

Afterwards I found out from my mother that the flute had been purchased from a woman who played it, it was in the #F key, and she said that this key “is the key that resonates with the heart. The sound triggers feeling of tenderness like when we see a puppy or a soldier coming home and surprising his kids. Heart felt emotion.” Interesting. I’ve written some things on the topic of the heart throughout the years. Also the greeting card I got said “When it rains, look for rainbows, when it’s dark, look for stars,” which is a quote I’d found just a week or a few weeks prior. So I searched through my phone for the word “rainbow” to see if I’d written down, and found this note from a yoga class I went to (instructed by the same person who taught the first yoga class I ever attended in my life).

So flutes have six holes, the flute I’ve been gifted is from a woman who plays it and knows that the #F key resonates with the heart, the flute and the drone both have green balls inside of them, on each one at the end, and on the connector in-between them, forming a triangle facing towards one’s forehead when playing it at the angle that I do, becoming activated by air, which comes forth from the lungs, the throat ,the “thyroid.” Interesting eh?

It turns out my brother wants a flute as well. I let him play my own when I lived at home, and he liked them. It makes me happy that he wrote a letter to Santa asking for a flute (with the help of my family writing the letter for him).

I didn’t know if I was a good influence on my brothers before, since I tend to be quiet and introverted when I’m not eccentric and talkative, so this really warms my heart. My mother said she’s getting him a flute for kids, and I saw it, and it looks great. I look forward to hearing him playing it. I offered for my mom for me to send him my previous High Spirits flute but I didn’t realize his hands are small, so the one he is getting will be best for now.

I also spoke with a good friend of mine, after sending them a song that I recorded on the flute. They told me about a few different cryptocurrencies to look into, which is interesting considering that just today I decided I will trade my BTC into IOTA as soon as they become available on Saturday; which, to be honest with you, I’m not sure why they are taking a while to arrive since I bought them using an instant transfer… Anyways, it is getting late. I do not have time to delve into all the details which ended up making my day great, which are putting my life on track to being even greater than the day before, for infinity, as I must get rest, maybe even meditate again before sleep, and make the time to grow into the future that awaits.

To be continued…

Originally published at