What Childhood Toy Did You Want But Never Receive?
Nicole Dieker
2342

I don’t know why I wanted fake talking toys so badly, but, oh, how fervently I wished for a Teddy Ruxpin. Now, I probably would have been less of an asshole about it to my mom if she had explained that it would have cost like 20 hours of her after-tax earnings in 1987, but she didn’t, so I remained annoyed well into my 20s.

Now I’m only sad about it because I would have loved making Teddy Ruxpin sing to highly inappropriate cassette tapes.

Also, I do not understand all y’all who wanted ponies. The horse girls had to get up SO EARLY. Nope. Better to just wave at the girls on their 5 a.m. rides from my cozy bed with my bed heater on full blast.

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