The Death of Adulthood in American Culture — FINALLY!

A. O. Scott wrote for the New York Times Magazine on 9/11/14 his take on “adulthood,” what that even means, and how it’s definition has evolved (devolved?) over time in America. In his piece, he describes his distaste for “grown-ups” reading Harry Potter, among other examples, but slaps his own wrist for the knee jerk reactions. He looks to fictional characters in both TV and literature to determine whether the shift towards the anti-adult, the “man-boy” — and the shift away from the traditional patriarchal “hero” — is the result of a new trend or whether we’ve always been a culture that opposes authority (even back to America’s founding fathers).

If Deep V knows one thing, it’s how to not be traditional adults. And music. And funny. So we know a few things. Yet I see us less as non-conformists and more as smart inner-children who have figured out a way to control the man-bodies we occupy. We’ve discovered that we can still laugh at dick jokes and function in our big boy pants at the same time. But more importantly, we’re thought leaders in a growing consensus that agrees: “adulthood” means something very different than what was once believed.

“Adulthood as we have known it has become conceptually untenable. It isn’t only that patriarchy in the strict, old-school Don Draper sense has fallen apart. It’s that it may never really have existed in the first place, at least in the way its avatars imagined. Which raises the question: Should we mourn the departed or dance on its grave?”

Great Question Scott. Wait, sorry can you repeat that? I was busy getting my groove on to the sweet, sweet music of change. It’s a fucking dance party over here and it feels good. Really good.

“The Updikean and Rothian heroes of the 1960s and 1970s chafed against the demands of marriage, career and bureaucratic conformity […] only to return a generation later as the protagonists of bro comedies. We devolve from Lenny Bruce to Adam Sandler, from “Catch-22” to “The Hangover,” from “Goodbye, Columbus” to “The Forty-Year-Old Virgin.” […] Unlike the antiheroes of eras past, whose rebellion still accepted the fact of adulthood as its premise, the man-boys simply refused to grow up, and did so proudly.”

Shut up Dad! These contrasts seem stark, but really, all the references here share a common theme: our protagonists enjoy a coming of age. It’s just a different age that is come to.

“The bro comedy has been, at its worst, a cesspool of nervous homophobia and lazy racial stereotyping […] But their refusal of maturity also invites some critical reflection about just what adulthood is supposed to mean.”

Exactly. Sure the humor surrounding the Forty-Year-Old Virgin is a bit more crude and immature. And perhaps that fact proves that the times they-are-a-changing towards a more liberal take on what level of crudeness is appropriate for the masses. But no matter how crude, our main character in the end “grows up” just as his counterparts did in the days of yore Scott references, when dinosaurs roamed the Earth in suits and ties, hustling and bustling to their grown-up jobs. What’s different is that our modern day heroes aren’t afraid to embrace their inner-child while they come (of age). “Graduating” into adulthood shouldn’t mean silencing the inner-child, it should mean the opposite: learning how to navigate the world while allowing the inner-child to remain an integral part of one’s character.

“[…] These symptoms of arrested development will also be signs that we are freer, more honest and happier […]”

If we continue to believe that to grow up is to shed our youthful curiosity, the joy associated with discovery, the innocence and naiveté that comes from inexperience, we’ll be miserable and jaded. We’ll be Don Draper. And as fun as it is to watch Don walk into a pitch meeting with the poise and confidence of a “grown-up man” as he reconciles with the changing times around him, it should be clear that they’re changing for the better. He’s at best unhappy, at worst on a highspeed train towards suicide, and it’s no wonder why — he’s getting older both on the inside and out. But it doesn’t have to be that way, and I think we’re all finally starting to realize that in the 21st century.

“Maybe nobody grows up anymore, but everyone gets older. […] It is now possible to conceive of adulthood as the state of being forever young. Childhood, once a condition of limited autonomy and deferred pleasure (“wait until you’re older”), is now a zone of perpetual freedom and delight. Grown people feel no compulsion to put away childish things: We can live with our parents, go to summer camp, play dodge ball, collect dolls and action figures and watch cartoons to our hearts’ content.”

Finally, some validation. Dodge ball is fun, period, no matter how old you are. Cartoons are hilarious, Adult Swim is literally made for adults! Dick and fart jokes? Fucking amazing! Everyone poops (so I’m told) and it’s funny every time. I can have a “real” job, vote for a president, make a difference in the world and have fun while I’m doing it. And God knows I’ll be farting the entire time, so we might as well open our nostrils to the possibility that life is more enjoyable when we’re young at heart.

— Phil Anderson 10/6/14 from http://www.deepvmusic.com