Being Human

Sturm Enrich
Sep 5, 2018 · 5 min read
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Many of us feel inadequate, we don’t do as well as we expected. We feel disappointed and frustrated. Eventually, these feelings take a toll on our self-confidence, create self doubt and make us wonder what’s wrong with us.

As much as I believe that we’re responsible for our lives and the results of our efforts, there is another reason for the common feelings of inadequacy, today.
Our lives became more complex, we are uprooted like never before and — thanks to technology — more isolated while the primary support available to individuals in past generations ceased to exist.

I’m talking about a community! The traditional, tightly-knit community was responsible for some areas of the individual’s life. (The individual wasn’t intended to handle them all by him or herself.) Today, most of us are doing our own part while struggling to manage those traditionally addressed by a community. Many are frustrated with their failure to master tasks, individuals were not expected to master alone in the first place.

As a life coach I witness over and over again two phenomena that never cease to amaze me.

1/ People blaming themselves for failing to master aspects of their lives traditionally left to a community.

2/ People successfully taking charge of their lives with the support of just one outsider / ally, in this case: the life coach.

If you ask me, that’s a clear proof of the importance and the need for a supportive community.

Many of us are no longer — or have never been — a part of a community. Even in the era of worship of the ego: “I, me, myself” doesn't replace a community.

In the past, community tended to numerous aspects of individuals’ lives. Now that many of us are no longer a part of a cohesive community, we fail to thrive as we hoped to.

Today’s most common type of community, the networking group isn't equivalent to the traditional community.
Networking is done for business and / or professional reasons. During these meetings, we are invincible: successful and unbreakable. We can’t afford to expose our vulnerabilities in front of our peers and competitors, it could destroy us. A networking group isn't a place to share fears of upcoming parenthood, cancer diagnosis, grief or fear of aging. Sharing private thoughts on such a forum could be career-ending!

A supportive community on the other hand, is such a place! As a life coach, motivational writer and speaker I often preach against delegating responsibility for various aspects of our lives to others. In this case, I encourage sharing! Why? Because holding some thoughts and fears inside causes us to assume that they are unique. (They aren't.) We believe that we are alone. (We aren't.) Sometimes, we are at a loss for answers. (There are always answers!) There are objectives we have trouble meeting, issues we’re struggling with which are easier addressed within a supportive group.

“Find people who can handle your darkest truths, who don’t change the subject when you share your pain, or try to make you feel bad for feeling bad. Find people who understand we all struggle, some of us more than others, and that there’s no weakness in admitting it. Find people who want to be real, however that looks and feels, and who want you to be real, too. Find people who get that life is hard, and who get that life is also beautiful, and who aren’t afraid to honor both of those realities. Find people who help you feel more at home in your heart, mind and body, and who take joy in your joy. Find people who love you, for real, and who accept you, for real. Just as you are. They’re out there, these people. Your tribe is waiting for you. Don’t stop searching until you find them.”

Scott Stabile

Being human today is harder than it used to be for normal and healthy people. It is tough on go-getters, on successful individuals, on youth, on older adults, not to mention on those striving to build a life, family, career or business and those reinventing themselves or looking for new start. Long story short, life is complicated. With traditional community dead, we can use a viable alternative, a support group for today’s people, sort of a self help group.

Bullying is rampant on and offline. Tearing people down, ripping them apart in public, on occasion, even leading victims to commit suicide…. We have that. Bringing people together to encourage, support and applaud one another: there is very little of that.

Having pondered on the lack of community today, I took upon myself to create Alternative Human Community: I’ll run the group locally in person and, if out-of-area demand justifies it, I’ll create a private Facebook group to expand the community Online. (Incidentally, everybody is welcome. All life’s issues are welcome. What’s off-limits? Politics, religion and business because these topics introduce divisiveness. The goal of Alternative Human Community is to encourage and support based on shared humanity as our common denominator. Not to divide. I know that we are not identical. I know that we might have varying religious beliefs, political affiliations and business goals. But I believe that our humanity, personal integrity and willingness to not only take but reciprocate take precedence over our differences.)

The need for community is human. Joining isn't an admission of weakness but a statement of self awareness.

“A true community is not just about being geographically close to someone or part of the same social web network. It’s about feeling connected and responsible for what happens. Humanity is our ultimate community, and everyone plays a crucial role.”

Yehuda Berg

We may not be inadequate, after all. Just unsupported.


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If you’d like to join me on the quest for an Alternative Human Community, a support group for humans, or a self help group for humans if you will, you can learn more about it here.

Sturm Enrich

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#Author | #Speaker | #Humanist | #PersonalDevelopmentCoach | #HealthCoach | https://www.SturmEnrich.com

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