Once upon a time, there was an association dedicated to my hair

Sometime last year I received a call from a former neighborhood “big bro” that no longer lived in the neighborhood. He wanted us to discuss a profitable business that could rake in serious bucks. So we set a meeting date and location.

Regardless of how promising the deal sounded, I was a bit nervous about going to see this “big bro” for one noteworthy reason. He is the immediate past chairman of the “Victor Cut Your Hair Or You Will Go To Hell Association” and he was one of the most aggressive.

You see, this association is an unsolicited and organically nurtured group that grew bigger than even my expectations. Over the years, the leadership of this association has swung between ‘church people’ and well wishers.

During his tenure, “big bro” nearly made my life a living hell and I dodged him on every medium. I begged to be left alone, quarreled, fought and did everything, nothing worked. You see, “big bro” had my best interest at heart and nothing was going to stop him from “helping me see the light my hair hid” (those were his exact words, I kid you not!). . . . .

On the day of the meeting, I had summed all my emotions up to anger and vexed to our meeting point. I was going to give the man a piece of my mind for chairing an association I did not care about and making my life miserable.

When I entered the meeting place, I spotted “big bro” sitting and talking into the phone, my mouth fell open in shock. The man was spotting a maturing dreadlocks.

I WAS SHOOK FAM!!!

All the anger evaporated. I saw colours. I saw Daddy Showkey and Bob Marley and all the dreadlocked hall of fame laughing at me in 3D.

Then the anger came back in a silent fury.

I summed up patience to quieten and talk to him and find out if everything was alright. If he had lost faith, backslidden or joined gang. Lo and behold, nothing was wrong.

Big bro” was still his normal self; a pompous self-righteous holier-than-thou prick. Apparently he ‘JUST DECIDED TO GROW OUT HIS HAIR’. And he did not think it appropriate to give me an explanation for making this life choice.

I WAS SHOOK EVEN FURTHER FAM!!!

From that point, anger would not let me make any sensible statement. I could not talk without frothing in the mouth and smashing a bottle of Pepsi on that man’s head and destroying the black mop atop it.

How dare you make my life miserable because of a moderate afro and then have the audacity to spot a full grown mop? What temerity.

No, I was not interested in doing the business deal. No I did not know anybody that I could recommend to him. Yes, I knew he thought I was the right person for the deal but regretfully could not take it.

Immediately I stepped out of that door, I laughed until my sides hurt.

Everybody knows how your life should work better than you do. Everybody has an opinion on how you should run your life. Never mind them, JUST DO YOU.

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