I can’t stop loving the days I loved you

My daily walk brings in good memories, helps me to unwind in slow motion. I think of the room on the terrace where I lived for two years and how I loved the sovereignty of being myself. I believe that the room and its owners came to me through some divine intervention.

“I may not love you today, but I cannot stop loving the days I loved you” — this is somebody else’s line — but I cannot help using it here as this may be the most apt expression of my present state. You will remain an inspiration to me forever. My life story is incomplete without you.

I go out for long walks every day. My new shoes protest vehemently, but I do not stop. They question me — are you a sadist? I introspect but still do not stop. I start counting my footsteps 1, 2, 3….the numbers question me — are you lonely? I think but do not answer. I play a nerd, ignore them and focus on my pace. The passing cars disrupt me and shout back — you fool, look where you are going. I still say nothing and carry on. The neighbor passes by with a grin and I silently retort with a “fuck off” smirk. When I reach my destination, I turn….and take the same path back.