Excerpts From A Book I’ll Never Write
Bestie is currently in, typing away on his laptop (seminar stuff), I’m sitting by the window, making this post and listening to Sia’s ‘bird set free’. I’m thinking and it seems I’ve come a long way from being a child to a woman. I don’t know… I just don’t know… At his place yesterday, he put on his home theater and we danced around the room like we were beauty and the beast – it was one of those perfect moments, then we made dinner together and as usual he ate almost all of everything – he’s such a bully.
I grew up being daddy’s girl. He used to take me everywhere. I was his pride, the star daughter, the one that would graduate from secondary school with straight A’s on her waec result, the one who would score over 280 on her jamb, study medicine, get a good husband, become a health minister – the one who would live his dreams and make him proud… And I’ve been doing just that, doing my best. I didn’t make the straight A’s but I did well enough to pass, I didn’t get over 280 in my first jamb but I beat it on my third try. He didn’t get a doctor, he got a pharmacist – even though all she wants to do is write and drink coke and eat chicken for the rest of her life. And she doesn’t want to get married… When will be the best time to tell him I don’t want to get married…?
What if I were a man? Lmao! Would I have to start thinking of how to make enough money to keep a family? Would I be a heartbreaker? What kind of girl would be my type? Who would I be???
3rd Jan 2014 – checked my stats this morning and my views had gone over 21k. I’m going to be the next big thing! Opened my whatsapp and bestie had dropped several messages throughout the night, none of them was an apology. I’m at the park right now, it’s a couple of minutes past 8a.m, the park is scanty, I’m bored.
11:30 – I’m at the library now. Met a couple of my dept mates, one even fabbed my 2h. I’m not in the mood to read, just using the library light to charge my phone.
2:44p.m – on my way back to Warri, bestie had a serious relapse. I got a BRT bus, the one where they try to sell mustard seeds to you by convincing you it cures everything. I just hope we move fast. Really fast!
Bestie and I, we are like oxygen to each other. What is this game life is playing?
Why walls? Are you a bricklayer now? You built walls upon walls and trapped yourself at the very center. How long did it take you to build them? Two months? Ten years? You could have loved a man and gave him his first child, you could have gone to med school with that time, you could have planned and executed the perfect crime, but you chose to build walls instead, really? Why walls?
Sadness is the love affair I can’t let go of. My heart is not tired of being broken yet.
My opinions are my truths and they are my lies. They are wrong for some and right for others, so nobody is required to take them too seriously…or take me too seriously… I don’t even take my so seriously. They are just opinions, a perspective of life from a sugar addict’s point of view.
Your twenties is the age before you get completely kicked out of childhood. Sometimes you feel 14 and other times you are thinking 40,you always have a foot in and a foot out. I’m holding on as much as I can, nobody is going to kick me out. NOBODY IS GOING TO KICK ME OUT!