My satisfaction; my decision.
Nobody can ever sort your head out for you; Fact.
You can’t entirely sort your own head out; Fact.
You can always, and I mean always, find a way to find purpose; Also, fact.
Finding purpose, that’s all we’re ideally running to the finishing line for. We’re not immortal, we know that. We’ve known that since even before we knew how babies were born.

It all starts with this sight idea of feeling purposeless. And once that chemical reaction has taken place in your head, well that’s it. There’s no going back from it. No waddling around looking for things that will only satisfy your soul for a brief moment. Many such moments come together slow and steady, and then like a ticking clock, make you realise the worthlessness of each of your many daily actions and more so, your decisions.
In the bigger picture, these decisions could be the most inconsequential ones you’d experience. But who’s to say which passing by decision gets to make it to the big leagues; this bigger picture we always speak of so gloriously!
They say there are these cells in our brain which get activated when we find ourselves in moments of extreme happiness or satisfaction. In an average human’s life, these cells get activated when they have the very best orgasms of their otherwise unfulfilling lives. Going beyond this assumption, that every human even ever experiences such an orgasm, would be an overplay on my part.
An orgasm is our body’s scientific way of telling us that it has experienced complete and utter nirvana. That it no longer needs anything more to fulfil it. And how long exactly do you think, this feeling lasts for in a body? A couple of minutes? Half an hour? You’ve got it right. And if our scientifically harmonised and accurately functioning bodies can get over that feeling in a couple of minutes, how long do you think our complex mind will take?
Here’s where the beginning of all our life’s problems starts. Nothing is ever enough. Even when it might be, you’ll never know it. There are no rules or matrix designed for you to tick boxes in. This will not function like a true and false exam paper for you. This will be the hardest fucking thing you’ll ever have to do. And nope, you will not see it coming from a hundred miles away! It’ll pop up from nothingness in your life and at the end of it, if you have actually managed to sail through it alive, and sane, you’ll know what you were exactly meant to do. For a day or so; maybe even a few years, if one is ever that lucky.
Here’s another thought that constantly rings in my head. No one is ever meant to do only ONE thing. Because, quite frankly, and also quite practically speaking, if that were to be true, there’d only be so many permutations in the job sector, wouldn’t there? And almost 40% of the jobs people do in this world today don’t even come under a title in job searches! How insane is that!? Here, I’m defining a job as anything a person is doing; whether or not it interests them, and making money off of; even if miserly amounts.
When you really come down to it, we don’t honestly consider a job to fulfil us anyway, do we? That’s why we know personal and work lives to be two entirely separate parts of the game. We look at it as a medium of earning money with a skill we consider ourselves moderately good at.
Let’s face it, not each one of us was born to have a legacy as overpowering as Steve Jobs’. However, that doesn’t stop us from being content with our lives and moreover, proud of ourselves at given instances in our lives. And that’s completely legit! Why not be content? Why not be satisfied when it feels enough?
It could feel enough at the lowest point in your life. And that makes it the highest point of your life. And isn’t that what the whole game is about anyway…
